Wednesday: So Close, but So Far Away...

November 24, 2010

This morning was a fail on all accounts. 

We woke up (still tired after going to bed at 9:30, which is unreasonably early for those of you who know me), got dressed & ready. It is -17 degrees here today with a windshield of -27. The wind is blowing, and the snow is falling... or pouring, whatever! Needless to say, the odds are all against us today. 

We rode around and scanned a few areas, mainly looking to make a kill today, either the 10 point we saw Monday or the tall heavy one we saw yesterday... and one better than those two would also be fine :)

We scanned over another area we've been to once before, and for awhile we didn't see anything, then Macy said, 

"There's a deer," calmly he said, "a buck."

Daddy checked to see where Macy's eyes were fixed, and he too looked to see. Sure enough, a buck stood there in front of a fallen tree and was held up by a ditch line. There was a doe out in the field not too far away, and we assume he was probably headed her way. Both men in the front, and me (still trying to find the deer) in the back. 

"He's a shooter..." Macy said; 

"Get your gun!" Daddy exclaimed.

I dug my way around all the jackets and backpacks, found my gun from underneath them, all while trying to listen to the orders being called my way.

"Open your door!"

"Load your gun!"

"Rest your gun in the curve of the door!"

.."Easy."

"Can you see him?"

My heart raced, and I opened the door, letting the crisp Montana wind spear my face. I jumbled around trying to get my gun out, and Macy said,

"He's put his head back down and turned around."

I didn't even have a chance to see him, but it seemed like for a second the world stopped spinning. Nothing was said for what felt like days to me. At that very moment, I was cold, tired, and let down, but I was still trying to find faith that something positive was going to happen. I just felt like I had been given my second chance too many times on a nice deer.

Macy suggested we walk down the river bank just to see if he had gone in the tree-line to conceal himself. My feet hadn't gotten completely thawed out from the last drive we had made earlier, but I was determined to at least have a chance to SEE this deer. I knew that this was the first time that Macy had gotten excited about a buck all week, and that had to mean something.

We got out, 

walked around, 

crossed the ditch line, 

made a circle, 

saw a small buck, 

circled back out, 

attempted to cross back over the ditch line, 

tripped, 

crawled to the truck (not really..kind of), 

and brushed off the snow. 

No luck.

This afternoon we rode and looked for awhile, and we stopped in the yield of a road to check out the field in front of us. Deer were spotted all over the white snow, and the only thing between us was a fence and wind. We glassed the area, and I noticed 4 deer straight out in front of us; I told Macy to check and make sure (since my vision often resembles an Armadillo - not good) and he said,

"That's our deer. . That's him.

(the tall one.)

The race was on, but it wasn't a literal race of course. We eased to the road's edge, and Macy told us to climb out and walk the ditch line because if we could make it down there without spooking him, I could get a good shot from a very close range.

So, we got out, the snow falling heavily all around us, and we slid down into the ditch line. Weeds were covered in snow, and they slapped me in the face after daddy made his way though them.

The weeds were over daddy's head, and I just followed his steps. Every footprint he left embedded in the snow was soon to have my boot mark in it as well. I was his follower, he was my leader.

Macy stayed back in the truck, and he waited for us to reach the other end of the ditch so that we wouldn't have to turn back & walk all the way back again. Instead, he would just come pick us up.

Once we reached the end of the first ditch where the culvert separated the other side, my face was freezing, as was the external portion of my body, but my blood felt like it was boiling.

I was frustrated and yet again, determined at the same time. Walking this next ditch, on the other hand, didn't seem so appealing to me at that present moment. As we stood there trying to figure out our next plan of action, I finally [thought-i-was] brought daddy back to reality,

"That deer has probably crossed the Canadian boarder by now. This is dumb."

"Come on. Let's go, we're almost there."

Always pushing me forward, always.

So, we did. 

We made it almost to the end & jumped him. 

The good news was that we jumped him in out direction, on "our" land. We had obviously walked right past him, and we never saw him until he took off running.

Macy was back soon to pick us up, and almost instantly we were back on his trail. 

This made my adrenaline pump even more. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to be in his presence. I wanted the cross-heirs on his body. I just wanted to know that he was still around, and he was the same deer we had seen yesterday.

I needed closure at that point.

He had made his way down to the riverbank, but we found him again.

I got to watch a real fight between two bucks today.

I got to see the look of excitement on my Daddy's face when his optimism poured over as we searched that ditch line.

I made memories today.

I am storing these images in my heart and mind.

& I am trying to stay optimistic.