30 Day Blog Challenge: Day Three!

Day Three: First Love

WARNING: This is liable to be a long one! 

This could go back as far as I can remember, but I wont bore you for that long. Puppy love is what it's sometimes called, right? When kids think they're "in love" and really they don't know what love truly is? Well, this was no puppy love. Maybe at the beginning; maybe before I realized it was undeniable. I heard this quote once, and it really sums up (to me) what love is about; it basically said, 

"Love is wanting the absolute best for someone, and genuinely not wanting in return." 

That, of course, isn't the only thing love is made of. Love is an assortment of many things. Caring, honesty, trustworthy, loyal, faithful, happiness, laughter, understanding, compassion, as well as the sadness, hurt, and tears. Love is not always a perfect thing, but that is indeed what makes it beautiful. It isn't alway big blue skies and open fields. Sometimes, it's dark gray clouds and eerie forest. To me, that is also beautiful. If someone can be beside you during those times, at your weakest points, that is one true test. Of course loving God comes first because He first loved us, and what better Teacher to have than the Good Lord. He loves us no matter what. We let Him down, and He forgives us. We do wrong, and He forgives us. 

Then.... Well, then that's where you began. 

Figuring out love had always been in the back of my mind. It never really bothered me, but I did want to know what it was like to really love someone. I just never expected it to be you. From the first night you held my hand as I sat next to you in the passenger side, to the talks on your back porch and listening to your guitar strum. You were there for me in your own way. You picked me up when I felt like falling all over again, and no matter how I try to get around it, I really loved you. I can't explain the way it felt to know you thought about me, and I can't start to tell you how many nights I couldn't sleep due to knowing that we'd be together the next day. 

Things weren't always perfect for us. As a matter of fact, they rarely were! We were so much alike, and our hard heads kept us on our toes for sure. During the middle of the prettiest days we would argue. On the most wonderful nights we would bicker. It was usually never anything serious, though. We always knew we were joking. It was during those times that I loved you the most. I realized I didn't want to be anywhere else. I didn't want to be arguing with anyone else. I didn't want to watch the stars or ride the dirt roads with anyone else but you. You taught me how to love a person, though you may not believe that. You helped me understand that it isn't always about ME and what I want, and that making room for someone else is an option. You gave me the freedom to not be scared of letting you inside for fear that I might get hurt. I wasn't always the easiest person to love. Actually, I haven't been the easiest person to love. In fact, ive made it hard on you many many times.

I don't guess you get to pick who your first love is. It just happens. You'll always have that hold on my memory. You'll always have your place carved into my heart, and it doesn't matter how many times I try to tell myself otherwise, you were "my person". Sometimes I hate that; I don't know why, but I do. Even so, You're the person i'll have to tell my daughter or grand-daughter about one day when they ask about first loves, and I won't mind. You've been the subject of my writing inspirations on more than one occasion, and that's also another thing i'm grateful for. As far as letting go of you and the past, I still find that kind of hard for me. I see myself looking back so often that it sometimes scares me. I don't want to live in the past. I want to be the person that I am today because of the way you aided in helping me love. You may never even fully realize the impact you've had on my life, but I can assure you that i'll never be the same. You don't have to know. You just have to understand that i'll always carry you around with me, even if it's only a tiny bit of what we were when we were together, or what I was when I was with you.

30 Day Blog Challenge! Day: Two

DAY TWO: What is the meaning behind your blog name?

 I guess "technically" my blog name is a heart, but if you've been reading for awhile, you'd know that for the most of my "blog experimenting" it has been: 

"Foralways"

My best friend-boy and I used to come up with alternate words for "forever" when saying "I love you!" Once, I said "forever and always" and he came up with "foralways". The only other time i've ever seen this used was in a Nicholas Sparks Book that I read. It wasn't one word, it was spaced out into two. 

While he was in basic training in Parris Island, our letters never said "sincerely" or "talk to ya later" they were always signed "foralways... love" (and sometimes, of course "semper fi")

I was blogging way before the word had meaning to me, but I can't remember what I called my blog then! Ha! 

Now, it's just a heart, but I didn't change it for any specific reason. I just changed it because I wanted some change on my page. 

The quote under it speaks volumes to me. How many times have you not let someone know how much you truly cared for them? How many times do you look back years later & wish you HAD told them how much you loved them? I believe it leaves us a little hollow each time we don't mention to someone just what they mean to us - especially if you're not given another opportunity. It is a quote by Orlando Battista, a Canadian chemist and author. 

...................

Tomorrow's topic is "First Love", so it will be more detailed than today. As a matter of fact, many of the rest of the "topics" call for more detail! 

=) 

30 DAY BLOG CHALLENGE!

Okay! As seen on a blog that i'm "following", there is a blog challenge going on, and I thought that may be a way for my readers to keep in line with what i'm "interested in these days. I'm not posting the 30 day blog list to my page, but you can go here (The Dressler Family) to see it. She tweaked hers, and I tweaked her tweak. (Did that come out right? Hopefully you catch my drift.) It looks like a lot of fun, and I'm excited about having 30 days worth of blog topics! 

 I'm probably starting this at a HORRIBLE time because this week I have a test Tuesday that i'll need to study for tomorrow (and should be doing it now) BUT... here i am, on my blog. Okay! We'll see how it goes, anyway. 

DAY ONE: Introduce yourself with a recent photo & 15 random facts.

I am Julianna

a freshman in college

i have a desire to help people through radiology

i love my labrador, marlee

i could spend an entire day hunting in the woods or with my daddy

i enjoy laying in bed with my mom & having long drawn out talks with her about life

my mimi is considered one of my BEST friends

i enjoy writing, photography, bow hunting, rifle hunting, movies, and music

i have the best friends around, and i never question their trustworthiness

i pay a lot of attention to lyrics in songs

i am a not a procrastinator

i have never left the country, although i'm considering going to Honduras next summer

i am 100% FOR our troops

i love any book or movie on WWII and football

i miss my old truck

i love softball (fast and slowpitch)

i have loved before, and i will love again - eventually

my favorite color to wear is black

i am obsessed with eye shadow

i am a dreamer

i suffer from serious, serious memory loss...i think

my favorite Bible verse is: 

.."As the deer pants for streams of water, my soul pants for you, O Lord." - Psalms 42:1

I am looking forward to this 30 day challenge. Thanks to the Dressler family for posting each challenge day! I am so excited! 

ps - i know that was more than 15 facts...did i say that i "tweaked" her "tweak"? (back to that memory loss ...)

=) 

Have a Happy Monday!

currently watching: toy story.

That title has absolutely nothing to do with the entry today. I am mainly posting for:

1.) Hollie & Anna's sake

2.) to inform you of a personal goal of mine. 

3.) because i've gotten comments from posting this past weekend, and I truly had no idea that people were still interested in my blog! 

1.) We have an annual Christmas session every year around this time, and actually I have these three individuals to thank for letting me experiment in my photography with people. Some people make me more comfortable than others, and i've been around these my whole life. They know that I can be indecisive, slow, and scatterbrained. They also know that when I have something on my mind, we're going to do it - or else..... :) Just kidding, but seriously, they really do cooperate well with my crazy mind & ideas floating around everywhere. So, I edited tonight, and here are a few of my favorites!

Next! 

 Yes, brace yourself for anther hunting story photo. I would write a story, but I won't bore you with that. (You can read the first one here - I had to write a paper about my favorite place to be, and it was, of course, hunting with my daddy. This is what I turned in) Today's story, is a "first" for me!

My First Bow Kill

October 5, 2010

thanks to all of you who still drop by my blog. I am SO unfaithful, but I don't want to blog about nonsense either. :) Have a good week. 

ps: 

 Aren't ya'll lovin' fall? What are 3 of your favorite things about fall? You can comment regardless of having a blog. Comment as "Anonymous" and sign your name at the end! 

my favorite fall photo.

country must be countrywide.

 I always love being in the outdoors with my daddy. It's one thing that I feel like we share together. Everything I know about the outdoors is due to him. It never gets old being out there because he always has a different story to tell, more history to enlighten me about, and more memories to fill me with. It's so neat to listen to the stories he remembers that took place on the same soil that we stand on as he speaks them to me. 

Yesterday we took Marlee out. Daddy wanted to show me around to some changes on our land, and I wanted to take Marlee with me because I neglect her too often. I feel bad for doing that, but sometimes I feel like "life just gets in the way of things" and she gets the blame for it. How crazy is that? What can I say, she is a dog to you & a person to me :) ..She thinks she's a person, too. Ha!

she'll be three on October 29th.

she likes the water.

okay, she may love the water.

her love for water is definitely unconditional.

then she catches a glimpse of daddy or me,

and here she comes...

barreling towards us..

and she just smiles =)

i just love her.

i really, really do.

 as much as i love this time of year..

okay, so I definitely love her more, of course, but i do love fall.

Mallard Marlee Made 

USO, phone cards, generosity.

 Just today Daddy received a letter in the mail from the USO (Untited Service Organization) asking to donate money to them for GI's (Drill Instructors) overseas who won't be home for Christmas. My first thought was, "Ohh just more people wanting more money..." but then I read the letter from their President, Mr. Sloan Gibson.
 He thoroughly explained that some of these DI's simply won't be home for Christmas due to their service time overseas. The USO wants to give each DI a phone card (calling card, whatever you wish to call it) so that they can phone their families during the Christmas season.
 This may not sound like a huge deal, granted, you don't know anything about these DI's, and you may know nothing about the program. I didn't either until today! What I do know is that if I had a loved one or friend overseas, I would want an opportunity to talk to them when I knew they couldn't be here with their own family. Most of us don't have that to worry about. We know (Lord willing) where we'll be for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. These men & women don't.
 You can read through and through about how I feel about our nations military, or you can just know that I believe whole-heartedly that these men & women are some of the most selfless people alive. They have put their lives on the Frontline in order to protect our nation and what we stand for. They leave their families at home, and they leave their friends without a crying shoulder. I don't mean that just because they aren't in arms reach that they can't be there for their family/friends, but sometimes they go days without being able to get in touch with their family/friends.
 This is when the USO comes into play by sending phone cards to them in order for them to call out to whomever they please. The USO is not a government agency, and they rely solely on the generosity of civilians.
 You can go here to sign up! I know that you may have enough financial issues as it is with the economy, but just prayerfully consider this. These men & women are behind the scenes of more than you realize, and this is one way to give back. It's one way to help them understand that we, as Americans, have their back and support their career.

.."For 69 years, the USO's mission has remained the same. The USO will support U.S. troops and their families wherever they serve. Across the United States and around the world, the American military knows that the USO is there for them. By supporting the USO, Americans show their appreciation and express their gratitude to the men and women who defend us."