Friday: Aftermath...

(all images today are from my iTouch, so please disregard the quality!)

November 26, 2010

I really don't know if everyone is like this or if i'm the only one, but I have a problem letting go. It doesn't have to be people but the present. Watching a moment leave me and not being able to get it back is always hard for me. 

Daddy & I woke up at 3:30, packed our last few things, and Macy took us to the airport. Once we got there, Macy told me that he enjoyed the week, and he congratulated me on my hunt. I went to shake his hand, not wanting to over-bear him with a hug, but he reached over around my neck and hugged me. 

We've built a relationship with their family, one of generosity & kindness, one of selflessness & laughs;

one that I, myself, will never forget. 

As we pulled out of that airport, the rush of departure hit me like it hadn't any other time. 

It was a rush I can't explain.

I was really tired at that point and ready to come home. I had my purse in my lap, and it slipped into the darkness of the floor board. Aggravated and tired, I shuffled around to find what had fallen out. My iPod was the only thing light would allow me to see, so I placed it in my purse, zipped it back, and fell asleep. once we landed in Billings, I grabbed my bags and made my way out, following Daddy inside. 

Then, I went to look for my phone and couldn't place it. I walked back down the terminal and asked the lady to look for me, and she did. No luck.

I was not a happy camper! I pouted and fussed for over an hour (my pooor, poooor Daddy). We went back down to see if the lady was at the ticket counter boarding people for their next flight, and Daddy decided to make one last check through my bags (that I had already checked 14 times), and sure enough - he grabbed it out of my OPEN pocket in my camera bag. 

He's such an angel ;)

We had a long layover in Billings, but once we made it Minneapolis we were both hungry (pretzels and water doesn't fill a totally empty stomach, FYI! We did have a croissant and some orange juice this morning, though.) 

We took the AmTrak to our end of the airport, and when we walked in the door, there stood TGI Fridays. So, Daddy & I had an airport dinner date. 

We visited a few shops, bought a few gifts, and walked to the other end of the airport to our concourse. 

I type this on the plane, sitting next to Daddy playing solitare on my iPod. As we drove off the landing strip, he said,

"This is it.. The last time for awhile.." 

It hit me.

All i've been excited about since May is over. I have lived that dream this week, and i've made wonderful memories with my Daddy. I know that i'll always remember this week; it can never be taken away from me, but watching Minneapolis fall underneath me as we departed, I realized that letting go (for me) is harder than I thought. 

On a lighter note, I can't wait to see my Mamma, Mimi, Nannie, brother, and best friends. I have missed them dearly, and it's a wonderful feeling knowing I'm homeward bound to see the people who love me just as much as I love them. 

Thank you all for sharing this experience with me. I really can't say how thankful I am to have been given this opportunity, all I can really say is that I have the best parents one could ask for. They always do their best for Matt and I. 

I love you all.

"Don't let your last words be, ' I thought that we would have more time'; 

let them be, 'Didn't we have a great time?!'."

Thursday: Thankful!!!!!!!!

November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving from the somewhat chilly (14 below) Glasgow, Montana!

We woke up the same time as usual and headed out around 7:30. We got a little later start today, but it was all right. 

The sun was shining, and the SUNRISE was phenomenal. We saw nearly 60 deer as the morning began, and 6 or 7 were bucks. No sign of Mr. Bad Boy!

We turned around to exit the field we had just scanned through, and we were going to make our way back down through the same way we had come in, and that meant that the riverbank would be located on Macy's side.

We came out from the edge of the tree-line and brush, slowly making our way out into the open, and Macy looked through the binoculars. 

"SHOOT THAT DEER!"

So, I got out, laid my gun across the hood of the truck, and felt Daddy standing beside me.

I placed the cross-heirs right behind the curve of his front shoulder, squeezed the trigger after releasing half of my breath, and lost my view of him afterwards due to the smoke coming out of the barrel.

"He's hit, good job!!" Daddy said as he smiled and patted me on the back.

Our excitement led us back to the truck where warmth fell over my body again, although I wasn't too cold... Or maybe I didn't realize that I was cold because I had my mind set elsewhere =)

"Good job, Julianna! Nice hit!" Macy's excited voice made me feel confident too. He extended his hand out to high five me, and as my hand reached to meet his, I realized they had begun to shake. I never get nervous until after the shot, and my nerves had wasted no time getting kicked into gear.

We went by the house (the deer was across the riverbank, so we had to go through town and back to the bank from the other side) to pick up Trevor. We then made our 5-6 minute drive over to retrieve the deer. To be honest, it felt like the longest ride of my life.

Once the deer was found, we took 4576 photos (or at least that's what Daddy said, ha!) and we went back "home". All in a day's work, right? =) 

Coming "home" was different than it would be at my real home. Mom wasn't there with her smiling face waiting for us at the door when she knew we had a successful morning. She didn't have breakfast waiting on the table, and we couldn't re-hash our morning with her over a meal. 

Mimi didn't come by to take photos to document our morning, and not a whole lot of questions were asked about the hunt, other than what came through the telephone line. 

It was different.

Toby's family invited us to eat Thanksgiving dinner with them, and we were so grateful for that. The food was nothing like our Thanksgiving's at home. but the experience was wonderful, and they have such an amazing family. They made us feel right at home. 

Randi, Trevor & I even spent the morning playing the Wii some, and they almost had me talked into going sledding! I guess I should have, but I would have really frozen solid then. You would have had to chisel me out from an ice cube!

There are so many things that I have to be thankful for;

My family - for loving me endlessly and checking on me daily.

My friends - for reminding me also that I am missed and loved.

To have experience all of this week with my Daddy who would do anything (in partnership with my Mamma) for me, and also for my Mamma who dealt with being alone this week.

If there was one wish I could ask for at this moment, it would be to go see my Pa-Paw and tell him all of these stories I have shared with you this week. I can feel his hug around my neck and his laughter filling the room as I think of sharing this experience with him. 

A part of me wishes he could be here in the flesh to hear about it all from me, to see that i've grown into a lover of the outdoors just as he was, and to be proud of me. 

Another part of me knows that he has, in fact, seen it all. He doesn't have to hear about it from me.

& I believe the sun shined a little brighter today as he watched this story unfold,

and I am so thankful for that.

Wednesday: So Close, but So Far Away...

November 24, 2010

This morning was a fail on all accounts. 

We woke up (still tired after going to bed at 9:30, which is unreasonably early for those of you who know me), got dressed & ready. It is -17 degrees here today with a windshield of -27. The wind is blowing, and the snow is falling... or pouring, whatever! Needless to say, the odds are all against us today. 

We rode around and scanned a few areas, mainly looking to make a kill today, either the 10 point we saw Monday or the tall heavy one we saw yesterday... and one better than those two would also be fine :)

We scanned over another area we've been to once before, and for awhile we didn't see anything, then Macy said, 

"There's a deer," calmly he said, "a buck."

Daddy checked to see where Macy's eyes were fixed, and he too looked to see. Sure enough, a buck stood there in front of a fallen tree and was held up by a ditch line. There was a doe out in the field not too far away, and we assume he was probably headed her way. Both men in the front, and me (still trying to find the deer) in the back. 

"He's a shooter..." Macy said; 

"Get your gun!" Daddy exclaimed.

I dug my way around all the jackets and backpacks, found my gun from underneath them, all while trying to listen to the orders being called my way.

"Open your door!"

"Load your gun!"

"Rest your gun in the curve of the door!"

.."Easy."

"Can you see him?"

My heart raced, and I opened the door, letting the crisp Montana wind spear my face. I jumbled around trying to get my gun out, and Macy said,

"He's put his head back down and turned around."

I didn't even have a chance to see him, but it seemed like for a second the world stopped spinning. Nothing was said for what felt like days to me. At that very moment, I was cold, tired, and let down, but I was still trying to find faith that something positive was going to happen. I just felt like I had been given my second chance too many times on a nice deer.

Macy suggested we walk down the river bank just to see if he had gone in the tree-line to conceal himself. My feet hadn't gotten completely thawed out from the last drive we had made earlier, but I was determined to at least have a chance to SEE this deer. I knew that this was the first time that Macy had gotten excited about a buck all week, and that had to mean something.

We got out, 

walked around, 

crossed the ditch line, 

made a circle, 

saw a small buck, 

circled back out, 

attempted to cross back over the ditch line, 

tripped, 

crawled to the truck (not really..kind of), 

and brushed off the snow. 

No luck.

This afternoon we rode and looked for awhile, and we stopped in the yield of a road to check out the field in front of us. Deer were spotted all over the white snow, and the only thing between us was a fence and wind. We glassed the area, and I noticed 4 deer straight out in front of us; I told Macy to check and make sure (since my vision often resembles an Armadillo - not good) and he said,

"That's our deer. . That's him.

(the tall one.)

The race was on, but it wasn't a literal race of course. We eased to the road's edge, and Macy told us to climb out and walk the ditch line because if we could make it down there without spooking him, I could get a good shot from a very close range.

So, we got out, the snow falling heavily all around us, and we slid down into the ditch line. Weeds were covered in snow, and they slapped me in the face after daddy made his way though them.

The weeds were over daddy's head, and I just followed his steps. Every footprint he left embedded in the snow was soon to have my boot mark in it as well. I was his follower, he was my leader.

Macy stayed back in the truck, and he waited for us to reach the other end of the ditch so that we wouldn't have to turn back & walk all the way back again. Instead, he would just come pick us up.

Once we reached the end of the first ditch where the culvert separated the other side, my face was freezing, as was the external portion of my body, but my blood felt like it was boiling.

I was frustrated and yet again, determined at the same time. Walking this next ditch, on the other hand, didn't seem so appealing to me at that present moment. As we stood there trying to figure out our next plan of action, I finally [thought-i-was] brought daddy back to reality,

"That deer has probably crossed the Canadian boarder by now. This is dumb."

"Come on. Let's go, we're almost there."

Always pushing me forward, always.

So, we did. 

We made it almost to the end & jumped him. 

The good news was that we jumped him in out direction, on "our" land. We had obviously walked right past him, and we never saw him until he took off running.

Macy was back soon to pick us up, and almost instantly we were back on his trail. 

This made my adrenaline pump even more. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to be in his presence. I wanted the cross-heirs on his body. I just wanted to know that he was still around, and he was the same deer we had seen yesterday.

I needed closure at that point.

He had made his way down to the riverbank, but we found him again.

I got to watch a real fight between two bucks today.

I got to see the look of excitement on my Daddy's face when his optimism poured over as we searched that ditch line.

I made memories today.

I am storing these images in my heart and mind.

& I am trying to stay optimistic.

Tuesday: Depressed

November 23, 2010

I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn't slept a wink, and I still feel that way. So sleepy! It's ridiculous.

 We headed out a little later this morning because it wasn't it wasn't light outside early yesterday, and not to mention the "winter storm advisory" we were under today made it darker as well, due to the snow & clouds. The high for today is in the single digits, and snow was expected (3-5 inches).

So, we decided to do a little drive, and that is typically a good thing to do during this weather because the deer bed down to block themselves from the winds, and when you push them out (in a drive) they obviously become a little more motivated to move. (Go figure) 

Macy parked at one end of the field, and we stayed in the truck as he made his way down the opposite tree-line. As he walked a distance, I lost his orange vest in the snow, assuming he had crossed over onto our side of the tree-line. 

We waited for awhile, as my toes felt like they were literally going to crack open at any given moment. [Note to self: just because your boots claim they are "insulated" does not mean they are "insulated" enough for Montana winters. In fact, they feel like placing frozen zip-locs around your feet in place of socks.] 

(turkeys)

Anyway, Macy drove a little herd out, and one nice one ran with them.

When the heat was turned on, my knees began to ache because of the frigid cold that was rushing through my toes. I have only thought my feet have been cold before, but I now know an entirely new level of cold. Cold, at this point (even to Macy who lives in it), was an afterthought.

We came on back shortly after that, and we relaxed until almost 3, made the rounds that we have been making, and actually we all talked more today. I haven't mentioned this, but not a whole lot has been said as we ride these roads. 

Granted: questions are asked, small talk is made, the plan is given, but not a constant conversation (like it would be with a truck car full of girls). If ya'll know me, you probably know that I have been feeling a little... AWKWARD? I wanted someone to burst out in talking, laughing, singing, dancing, SOMETHING!! Pleeeease!

..and that is when I realized the difference between men & women.

it hit me.

like a ton of bricks.

boom.

bam.

shizam.

I ate a cheeseburger type mix for lunch today. It was a rotel-type texture, but it was served like a sloppy joe. 

we had an enchilada casserole for supper, and a maple "long john" (as we call them) or "maple bun" (as the Northerners say) for breakfast - since I forgot to mention that earlier. 

this is the town of Glasgow. This is only one street of it, but it is by no means a large town.

We were right at home =)

The geese here seem louder than back home, or maybe it's just they travel in bigger flocks.

I guess the main reason why i'm feeling depressed today is because of the weather. Macy said the weather hadn't been this extreme in nearly ten years. 

I feel like it may inhibit our hunting this week because we haven't seen NEARLY the deer today as we have the past two days.