Monday, December 7, 2009

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

These pretty girls and I watched the Christmas parade together.
No one was really "fired up" about the parade due to the misting rain and the low temperatures, so there were NO (none, zip, zilch, zero) floats in it...this was the best shot.
Mom's outside decor that she has been fretting over. Turned out nice! :)

Sunday, December 6, 2009


December already? No.....

Clint comes home in a very short amount of time, and i have to say that i'm fairly excited! Ha, complete sarcasm. I'm EXTREMELY excited!
I'll be posting pictures of town soon, all decorated up, so that he can have an opportunity to have a sneak peek before he comes home.

A few good things happened this weekend:

2 photo sessions with two sets of amazing people. They were so much fun to be around. And photogenic as well :)

deer were killed (sorry, all you non-hunting blog readers)
Megan killed her first deer while hunting with Walker. I was pretty proud of her :) She had an encounter with some mice in her chair when they arrived at their field, but needless to say, not even her screaming bothered the deer! Congratulations, Megan! :)
My daddy and I were able go go on a hunt that wasn't on our land. A friend of ours offered to let me hunt on some land where he works. The story is long, and i'm so sleepy right now that I couldn't make it intriguing, but i'll definitely come back soon to try and tell. Anyway, my deer weighed 222 pds; he was an 8 point with 2 kickers -which makes him a small 10 pt.. (you can see them at the bottom of his rack on the left side. There's one above the one that's sticking out, and YES you can hang a ring on it), and only scored 102. He's the biggest one i've killed so far. That matters to me, of course, but what truly matters is that I was able to experience it all with my Daddy. Unforgettable.

Stay tuned! I know i'm absent too often, but i am trying to do better! ;)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Wow. I was sitting here thinking of the many things i have to be thankful for, and I don't know where to begin.

*i'm thankful for my family. Just the other day I was sitting with my Mimi and we were talking about how valuable life really is, and how we take it for granted each and everyday. We were skimming over things that we should be thankful for in our family: good health, lots of love, etc. i'm thankful for the family time that I anticipate tomorrow, and for the hands that have prepared the food that hosts our conversations. Those hands have taught me all I know about cooking, which may not be a WHOLE lot right now, but we're slowly working on that!

*i'm thankful for the chance i have every afternoon to hunt. God is such an amazing artist, and the way He paints the trees with the colors, the evening sunset, and the way He has crafted every animal to serve a purpose, well, i'm just thankful to be able to take part in that. I'm also thankful for the father and brother who have shown me the ways to be out there and know what i'm doing; i'm very thankful for that.

*i'm thankful for my friends who have been there for me no matter what. I don't feel an urge to name them, for they know who they are. From it being a quick "Have a good day" or "I love you" text, to a call asking me to ride, to listen, for advice, etc. I'm thankful that I have friends that trust me and look to me for advice. I'm thankful that i can do that in return to them, and they answer their calls the same way i do.

*along those same lines, i'm thankful for the friends i have that serve our country. I'm thankful that they have chosen such an honorable vocation. I'm thankful to live in a free country with freedom of speech, religion, etc. Mostly though, i'm thankful for those friends of mine whose job is to make sure that those rights are kept the way they are.

*i'm thankful for the small town i live in, although the drama i could do without.

*i'm thankful for these moments that i'm given the privilege to capture God's artwork on camera because THAT can make my entire day.

*i'm thankful...for everything i'm gonna wish i would've posted, but that i have simply forgotten.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

When Duty Calls, a Strong Man Answers...

He is calm, he is quiet, he is proud.

He’s not one to do much to stand out of the crowd.
He doesn’t always say all that he can,
and that is what makes him a unique man.
His height is not short from where he speaks,
but even with his thoughts he could overlook the trees.
While he is tall, he is also slightly thin,
and resembling the pureness of angel wings is his skin.
You could dance in his eyes for they are fields of green,
and his head bears no hair, it is quite a scene!
His arms are round with muscle strength;
he is carried by legs of long length.
His dress is unique from day to day,
but looking during the week this is what it might say,
“United States Marine”, for that is his call,
and fully clothed in camouflage he can hardly be seen at all.
In a moment when I call to rant and rave,
he remains as calm as a man lying in a grave.
He sits, he listens, he nods his head,
he waits ‘til I’m finished to say what needs to be said.
He does not raise his voice, nor does he speak fast.
His words are true, and they are meant to last.
“Semper Fidelis is our motto, and I make it my creed.
I’m always here for you, anytime, no matter what the need.
Friends we have been through thick and thin.
Though I may be far away I’m here to protect and listen,
to help however I can.”
As he stands at attention, his face points straight ahead.
His footsteps are consistent, measured is his tread.
He has worked hard at his occupation,
and walks in a line with men of the same vocation.
He carries the flag for his platoon
and doesn’t talk because it’s against the rules.
So, not much is said unless he is called upon,
but in the moment that he is, all respect is won.
From day one of serving there
his strength has grown and he has learned to care
more about his country and having respect for it.
As he stands in his parade line many thoughts fill my head, and
I can’t help but wonder about what will be said.
When he is released on liberty,
I walk over to him, and that is when I speak.
“I’m just wondering how you’re so brave,
and even when you’re yelled at, your expression is never changed.”
He looks at with me with those sea green eyes,
he shakes his head a little and lets out a sigh.
“It’s what I’ve been called to do, you see.
I can’t tell you why, but it’s where I’m supposed to be.
With freedom there comes a price to pay,
and this is where I’m supposed to be working every day.
I awake in the mornings, lace my boots up tight,
go out to the field, and work until night.
Some days I can’t say I love it, but with my brothers there
the days aren’t so long, and the distance isn’t as hard to bear.”
He doesn’t have much to say, but he knows more than you may think.
While standing across the way, he may give you a wink
as if to say hello or even mentally speak
of things on his mind this week.
Sometimes the silence is too loud for me,
but he says the things he does in a way for me to see
that he really does love me, not only does he care,
but that he’s always there for me no matter where he goes or how long he stays,
his love follows me through the long days.
With us it does not matter, for it is always the same,
and his quiet strength encourages me, it takes away the pain.
He has conversations in his mind about how it all plays out.
“What does the future hold for me, and what’s life all about?
Where’s the furthest mile I’ll go,
and what’s my future to be like later down the road?
How many people will I meet along the way,
and just how long will I have to stay?”
He puts these questions aside for now because he knows it’s only about the vow he’s made for his country and for those who risk their lives every day.
He’s sure his unspoken questions will be answered in time
by the orders of his officers who will tell him where to toe the line.
He is tall, quiet, calm, and serene.
He guards his thoughts from all,
but he is the type to say what he means,
and he’s always there to help you up from a fall.
He knows he’s a part of the team,
a gear in a great moving machine.
He doesn’t like to on others lean,
always he is one to say what he means.
He sticks by his friends through thick and thin,

he helps them along the journey of life, there and back again.
He was made to serve our country,
and he certainly serves it well.
No matter what the situation is,
he has faith that right will prevail.

Friday, September 25, 2009

in the blink of an eye.

You know, I can't help but stop and laugh at life sometimes, realizing how things change in a single second.

On September 16, 2008, my best friend called to inform me that he had figured out where he needed to be. As the rocks crunched underneath my cleats & I walked to my truck on the phone, my emotions were running wild. I was happy and sad all at the very same time. Now, a year later, I can't imagine being more proud of Clint. I'm happy to be a friend of his, happy to support him, and only sad about the fact that we are unable to hang out, and only have a limited amount of time to talk. You know what, though? Its okay. He's found where he needed to be, the United States Marine Corps, and it's funny because it seemed to have happened in the blink of an eye.

On May 10, 2009, I walked into my "last-first" day of high school. It really was just an ordinary day, but I sometimes feel like I'm walking on a bridge, unable to see the ending, and the planks behind me slowly fall into the ground leaving me stranded with no way back. Although I wouldn't go back and change a single thing, I'm already turned around wondering, "did I do everything I could? Did I make the most of it?" All of while I'm in the present trying to make the most of IT, too. I've grown up with the best class, best friends, best school, and best faculty that encourages me that I could have ever asked for. Yes, we have had our share of tears & maddness, but the laughs & smiles of the past thirteen years have overridden any of those other emotions. Not many people can say that they know everyone in their graduating class on a personal level, but I can; also, sixteen other people can. We have always been there to comfort each other, which leads me to saying just how different next year will be. I can't imagine not being able to look behind me and strike up a conversation with Walker, laugh with Megan & Hollie during Latin class, cut up with Alex, Lillian, and Veronica on the softball field, or cheer on the boys at a sporting event. Some things just won't be the same anymore, simply because they change in the blink of an eye.
On September 21, 2009, I watched a classmate, an athlete, a son, a boyfriend, a brother, a leader, a companion, a senior play his last football game of his high school career. In one play he was shot to the ground like a bolt of lightening. As his team took a knee, the only sound to be heard throughout the entire stadium were the echos of his screams, and the sniffling of the teary-eyed fans. No one wants to watch a tradegy take place in the life of someone else, and no one wants to go back to the rememberance of it either, but to find an ounce of joy (or pride) on September 21, you could look at his teammates. They oozed pride for their brother. Although their hearts were honestly breaking in two, they stepped up to the plate & finished the game FOR HIM.. All because things changed for him in the blink of an eye.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

the world in a mile.

driving down an old dirt road
you just might come to find
my little town called Macon
i seem to be left behind
but that's not it, not in the least
for flags still fly and freedom's free
and in my old run down town
there's pick up trucks and huntin' hounds
there's talk of whose buck was biggest
whose fish weighed more
who's here now, and who's gone before
not much changes in my small town.
one could tell if he were passing by
that the boys live for the Friday night lights
the girls work hard to keep their fame
to them it's more than just a game.
the tradition they have come to know
spreads through my town; the talk, the show.
back to my city, so sacred, so small
it's cradled by crops, tractors and stalls.
a farmer works hard from daylight 'til dusk
not by choice, but because it's a must.
i am not fragile, although i am old
my oaks stand high, and i can bare the cold.
i may be small, but i have a big heart
my hospitality shines like stars in the dark.
i am Macon, a very small town
i am lifted spirits when someone is down
i am the neighor that you give a smile.
i am laughter, key to making life worth while.
i am a town with prosper and pain
a town that believes in "nothing to lose, but everything to gain."

- Julianna Persons, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

weirdly beautiful.

We have spent countless hours sitting and talking in the darkness of our rooms. With the black of night surrounding us, the only thing visible is the road ahead that is lighted by our headlights, and we ride around just to sing at the top of our lungs because that is our “therapy”. Sometimes on a cool summer night we park our vehicles just to get out and lie under a blanket of stars and discuss our own problems in life, but other times we sit in silence. We are able to sit quietly, and she has the ability to be there for me in her own way because she is my best friend.
She is a lot like me, but that is not why I admire her. I admire her because of her strength, her faithfulness, and her strong beliefs. She is a constant supporter, and20she is never out of reach for me when I need her. She is the person I would run to if I decided to leave home. She would not ask any questions about why I was there, but rather listen to what I had to say. She is unique, and I admire her for that. This person is one of the strongest people that I know because she has helped me through difficult situations that I could not have handled alone. When she speaks of something close to her heart, it is quite visible that she believes every word of what she is saying. Oftentimes, she is not speaking about it to make someone believe in it too, but rather voice her opinion about the matter.
Likewise, she is beautiful, and she is wise. Her eyes are sometimes a bright green with speckles of brown; other times they are a deeper color. Her dark hair shines, and it falls around her shoulders. She is not very tall, but she stands with a dark complexion and her skin glistens from her makeup and lotion. She has a tender heart, which causes her inner beauty to shine, but she is blunt about the way she feels. She will always share exactly what is on her heart and mind. She is a deep thinker and always gives great advice.
In conclusion, one of her pet peeves is the nickname I have given her, but for all these years I have gotten away with it. On occasion we call ourselves sisters because we are alike in so many ways. I admire her not only because she is my best friend, but because of the influence s he has had in my life. When I have fallen down, it has been her strength that has been there to pick me back up. Her faithfulness in being there for me has kept me going. I once heard an anonymous quote that says, “Friendship is not one big thing, but a million little things”, and it is so true with her. I know that no matter how hard life gets, she has my back. The person that I have written about is Meg Banks.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

i'm afraid i'm losing it, what's it going to take to get through this..

It has been far from too long since my last blog. I read kelly's tips on how to be a "good blogger", and i completely failed that one. Oh well, I have to be inspired.

Clint comes home in 15 days. (I had my numbers messed up, due to being anxious, i believe (; ) I cannot express how happy i am. I have watched video after video of seeing someone see their soldier for the first time after awhile, and they always bring a tear to my eye. I am so proud of Clint, he encourages me so much. I can't help but smile when I think about him and how brave he is. It's been so hard being here for three months without him, its been a couple of confusing months for me - and I know that he would've given me great advice..not that i haven't gotten good advice already, but you know!
I'm not going to complain about being "confused" because I know what Clint has been enduring is far more exhausting than anything i've gone through. It's just time for him to come back.

In a month (+ a few days) i'll be 18. Eighteen. Woah. I'll graduate in May. Graduate. I'll be a Central Academy Alumni. Alumni. Okay.. i'm stopping.

ignore the first couple of seconds of this. Watch it, though. Story of my life.

Monday, July 6, 2009

31 days until the day.

i am so excited, i can hardly stand it.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I wanna be runnin' when the sand runs out.

This post won't be easy. It won't be easy because everyone who reads it will probably mis-interpret the entire thing, taking it out of proportion, and then ask me about it. Quite frankly, I write this for my own being. I write it to help me, and maybe through helping myself it will also help you.

My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day.
I watch the world outside,
By the way
I'm leaving out today.
I just saw Haley's Comet,
she waved;
Said, "Why are you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life,
I hope they understandI'm not angry,
I'm just saying -
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today
Here is my chance,
This is my chance.
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life,
I hope they understandI'm not angry,
I'm just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

You know I would do anything for that person, because they have always been there for me. Even during the "dry spell" they've been there, whole-heartedly. I cannot give enough back to them, and they deserve the best. You, on the other hand, take full advantage of what you've got. You do not realize how proud you should be to have someone that special in your life to love you, care for you, want you, need you, etc. It tears me up to see the way they are treated on a daily basis. This person would literally go to the moon & back a million times for you, not think twice about it, and NOT ask for anything in return. You've just driven them so far away that they cannot carry on a simple conversation with you without being hurt by your words. Needless to say, you should be alone, but they still hold on. They hold on because they've always seen the good in you, they've always fought hard for that piece of you that's funny, loving, smart, and somewhat sensitive. That's love. Love is seeing past someone's imperfections, because there is beauty inside of you that no one but this person can see. It's getting foggy though, seeing your beauty, and I don't know how much longer you have until all those imperfections over rule the love they've found in you. I do not, by any means, believe this person is giving up, but if they were -- could you honestly blame them? I can't. It's been done before, and i believe you're in need of a reality check anyway...SOON.
You know what's going to hurt them, yet you still ignore the fact that it IS actually hurting someone (other than yourself). Which brings up anouther problem, your selfishness. What in the world is wrong with you? Have you no conseption of others feelings at all? Do you understand that your actions emotionally break down other people? Does that phase you at all? No. No, no, no. It doesn't, because as long as you're not hurting, pissed off, upset, worried, troubled, sad, or depressed - - NO ONE ELSE SHOULD BE EITHER. That's not the way this person is wired. By now, you know them. You know what they like, and what they don't like. You know what makes them smile, and what brings a tear to their eye. You know what makes them laugh out loud, and what causes them to giggle. You know, better than most people, what they want. Yet, for some reason - you do nothing about it. You don't ever try to do MORE. It's always just mediocre, and if something, someone, or somewhere else comes up on your "schedule" -- you CHOOSE it. Why? Who knows.
What i'm saying is, you should be ashamed. You've taken so much for granted. You're wasting this person's time, and they are a far better person than i'll ever be for putting up with you. That's what you call "tough love", except for you it's easy. It's easy for you because you ignore it. You ignore all the romance, the laughs, smiles, hugs, kisses, wants, needs, and .. all the simple things that make life so beautiful, YOU JUST SIMPLY IGNORE IT.
Sometimes i'd like NOTHING BETTER than to grab you by the shoulders and just shake you until i felt like there had been some sense shaken into somehow. Because this person is so close to my heart, and when they hurt, I hurt. You need to get your act together before it's too late. The sand is running out for you, and instead of running from all of this, you need to stop. You need to stop and realize what means the most to you. What's going to mean the most to you when everyone else walks out? When you wake up tomorrow morning, who's going to be the first one on your mind? What road are you going to choose? We know which way's the easiest, but is that your path - the easy way out?
What if they're an angel sent here from Heaven,
and they're making certain that you're doing your best
to take the time to help one another, Brother, are you
gonna past that test?
You can go on with your
trying to forget what you saw in their face.
Knowing deep down, you could've been their saving grace..
I'm just saying, your priorities are all out of line. Something's got to happen, fast.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

i'm not getting my hopes up, but happy endings happen all the time..

"Where do I start
Lying on a blanket underneath the stars
With your head on my chest
I always liked that best

I hate how times flies
I still think back sometimes
'Bout your lips on my neck
I always liked that best

That time we took a ride
Ended up down by the river side
Soft touch wet kiss
I always liked that best

I like the way you used to hold me
I like the way you came to know me
You came to know me well.

Falling to sleep
Wearing your shirt 'cause it smelled so sweet
Who could forget?
I always liked that best
Or losing my heart every time you played to me on your guitar
"Lady in Red"
I always liked that best

I like the way you used to hold me
I like the way you came to know me
You came to know me well well well

I could go on
So many things I miss now that you're gone
Your love oh yes
I always liked that best."

There's so many songs that I hear & say, "that's our song", some you know about, some you don't. Sometimes I just feel like our life story has a beat to it that so many different bands & singers sing their hearts out to on the radio.
The songs aren't always the greatest, they just find their way into my heart, then again, some are. I can't begin to name them all, because there simply are just too many. Maybe, I over think every song I hear & just make myself believe that they remind me of you. Maybe I just always happen to have you in mind whenever I hear a song, or maybe..just maybe, they actually do.
Whatever all this means, I'm okay with it really. It doesn't matter where it's been, the only thing that matters to me is where it's going. Even if it stays like this, it's okay. I like not knowing what's next. I like being in the place that we are right now, in the moment where everything just seems so "right".
You know, i don't quite know when it stopped & started. It has all been so painfully beautiful to me, and i don't particularly care where it stopped & started...just as long as it doesn't have to stop again.
What i do not believe i'll ever understand is peoples take on this. It is not a LIGHT subject. It is a deep, intense, one of a kind feeling. To me, it is hard to describe, it's one of those things you just "know" you have. You KNOW it consist with your parents, & your friends, whatever - for me, it's has formed without me knowing about it, & it has been there for so long, but it's been covered up. It's been covered by denial, and I've been running from it. I've been running so fast that whenever I turned around, looked up, & saw you there..I was in awe.
I've never been one to "hang on" to someone after "it's over", but i can't help it. You've got a hold on me that i cannot begin to put into words, (so if none of this makes sense to you, forgive me), but i don't get the fact that NO ONE else understands. I don't try to get them to understand, because it's a hopeless effort, and plus..i kind of like knowing that it's sort of "us against the world". What I mean is.. Not a lot of people really know what both of us know, they don't really know the depth to it all, and so therefore they really have no right to understand. Why try? I don't mind it, and from as far as I can tell, neither do you.
You're friend tells me, "don't mess with a good thing, i KNOW that what ya'll have is a good thing, so just let it be, enjoy it, and don't screw it up." Right? Right. I think so too, friend. Thank you. You know, sometimes i feel like all i CAN do is screw things up, like i'm walking on thin ice 24/7, but then again...i'm totally at ease with everything. It's perfection.

What is my form of perfection, you ask? I'll tell you.
it's the night air putting off a breeze that makes sitting outside a comfortable thing, it's the way the street lights hit those eyes of yours so that they shine, it's the noise of outside: the crickets, the leaves, the cars passing.
It's being right beside you on your front porch..
not talking..
whatever is happening while were there was complete perfection to me.
Of the million other places to be in the world, i wouldn't have jumped on a plane for Rome if it had landed on your roof. It's really the simple things that take place between us that become so instilled into my brain.
Perfection is watching you're favorite show with you through a text message, quoting almost every line of the entire episode, and laughing while doing it. Perfection is when nothing is wrong.
The things that you may not think twice about are the things i'll never be able to forget. You've been the cause of more than many unforgettable moments in my life, and i really wouldn't trade them for the world.
Perfection is seeing your fingers strum on a guitar, sitting beside you & enjoying the melody that you've taught yourself to play. It's the serenity of hearing the chords flow across the strings, and observing you while you take part in something that you truly enjoy.
Perfection, through my eyes, is simple. It doesn't take much for me to believe that something was "perfect", and that's okay, right?
So, that was perfection in a bottle for me. Juvenile? Maybe. I'm not worried about it though, because you know me well enough to know all the random thing's that i think are "perfect" whether it be watching the sunset at the refuge, or just riding one of those old dirt roads with you. We could be anywhere, really.

One thing that is not-so-perfect in my eyes is:
the sound that goodbyes make,
the feelings that goodbyes leave you with.
It's one thing for it to be a "temporary" goodbye, but it's another when you know with you're whole heart that it's permanent. I know that i've "permenantly" said goodbye before, but that's over now, and we're past that. The only permenant goodbye we have to worry about is one that you might make.
The reason I even brought up goodbye is because I just feel like everytime we say goodbye, that may be the last time it's said between the two of us (and I can already see the face you'd probably make if I said this to you) . I don't want to feel that way, it causes me to be left with some sort of "separation anxiety", ha, dramatic? Maybe. Seriously though, those are the things going through my head, and although it may not be's fact, it's true, and unfortunately i cannot control it.

Mainly, i just want you to be happy. Seriously, that's all.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

"say bye." - "i don't want to." ...i never want to.

So, bloggers, i have not forgotten you.
Actually, i am just now gathering up enough information to write a blog.

Summer, so far, has been so boring! All i have really done is paint. I have had a few projects that i have a "deadline" for, and so most of my time has been consumed by making sure that deadline is met. I'll give you a sneak peak.

these two are for Mamma's kitchen. They were both done on a wing & a prayer, but thankfully they came together. The one under this typing is for my room. Foralways is a very special word to me. This one was actually the most fun, because (since it was for me) i didn't have to worry about "messing up" or "getting out of line", it just fell together, and i finished it in, no kidding, probably ten minutes.
Speaking of "Foralways" I got my first letter from Clint on Thursday, and for all of you who want to know, he's doing "just fine!" He says, "Make sure all my people get a 'Hello' from me."
I cannot tell you how great it made me feel to hear from him, I have felt like I've been talking to myself in the letters, but to know that his eyes saw my words, appreciated them enough to write me back and tell me that he has enjoyed everything i've said - - as we used to say, "it just makes my heart smile." (:

Life for me has been pretty good though, even if i haven't done anything VERY special. We leave for the beach a week from tomorrow, sadly without Meg, but it's okay, i guess! I've been snake hunting with Ray & Ken, watching the sunset at the Refuge, and listening to sad, sad, sad music (just because i can!)

My sunset experience was great. If you ever have a chance, I would DO IT. We went out to the Noxubee Refuge, sat at the Goose Overlook and saw the sun fade into the horizon. It was peaceful & exhilerating. I love sunsets.

Lastly, I hope this video touches your heart the way it has touched mine. I actually watched these awards when they were on TV, and never thought to post this video on my blog, but it is truly breath taking. I had to stop my tears before I dehydrated myself.

Also, one last thing before i go.

Matt's birthday was Wednesday, and I made his cake. IT WAS DELICIOUS (if i do say so myself).

Let me tell you what I did: (I wish I had pictures like bakerella, but unfortunately I don't)

Strawberries (i used 2 cartons, whatever they are)
slice the strawberries, and sugar them. Make sure they're drained well, and place them in the fridge.
Yellow Cake (Duncan Hines, i believe is what i used)
Bake that as directed.
Once the cake is cooled completely, and your strawberries are drained completely, you place the slices of strawberries on top of the cake. (You can do this right before you serve, or you can do it early, and let what's left of the juices sink into the cake. Either way it's okay)
top with Whip Cream. (I do this whenever i cut a slice & have it already on a plate, simply because -like the strawberry juice- it will sink into the cake, and make it mushy.)

It may sound crazy, but i'm serious, it's great! It's also easy!

I also baked Red Velvet cake balls, and while they were not beautiful, they also were pretty good! (I'd post that recipe, but I stole it from Bakerella.) The only thing that I did that she didn't was: at the end of the process, they were SO ugly, so I tried to think of a way to "pretty them up", and that led me to melting chocolate chips, placing the chocolate in a Ziploc bag, poking a hole in the corner, and streaking milk chocolate across the white chocolate balls of cake. Simple, easy, MESSY, and pretty dang good!

Ok, now that I feel like I've been on the Food Network, i'm wrapping this up!

"You're just so cute!"

"I love it when you grin at me."

"..will you smile for me, please?"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

it's been so long since i heard your voice, I've missed you.

"i'll think of you, even in the busiest moment of my day."

"Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,
Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.
So many times you did not bring this on yourself,
When that moment finally comes,
I'll be there to help.
On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,
I'll be right here.
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,
We'll always be ready because we will always be there.
When there are people crying in the streets,
When they're starving for a meal to eat,
When they simply need a place to make their beds,
Right here underneath my wing,
You can rest your head.
On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,
I'll be right here!
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,
We'll always be ready because we will always be there.
Hope and pray that you'll never need me,
But rest assured I will not let you down.
I'll walk beside you but you may not see me,
The strongest among you may not wear a crown.
On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,
I'll be right here!
On that day when you don't have the strength for the burden you bear,
I'll be right here!
Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.
Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,
We'll always be ready because we will always be there."

I hope you all enjoyed your Memorial Day.
There are men & women who put
their lives on the line for our country each and every single day. They sacrifice their lives so that we can live in peace. Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to feel at ease with life when your whole world may be crashing, and these (and many, many other) soldiers give us the chance to feel that.
Now, these are the only three that are truly close to my heart, but there are many, many more. Although they are gone, and I miss them, I know that what they are doing is a selfless thing, and I am so proud. I am proud to call them all my friends, and I am proud of what they have decided to do.

"Our flag gracefully sways in the breeze at half mast,
The Eagle symbol of America freedom weeps,
Terrorist have stormed our gates giving us reflections of fear,
We stand at attention strong one union steadfast.
We will mourn our dead who gave their life for freedom,
And tend to our wounded but we will never surrender!
The stars and stripes will long wave overhead in proud glory,
Our soldiers brave and fearless, will fight and never be tiresome.
Our country is knitted together with an invisible unending thread,
From Ocean to Ocean, dawn to dusk inspires us to spring forward,
Children are our future and hold our aspirations, we must keep them safe,
Our leaders congregate, conspire, enforce, leave nothing unsaid.
The America people a rare breed with deep roots that anchor,
The blood of our Pioneers flows amply through our veins as templates,
We are not defined by our past but our preparation for the future,
Terrorism will be stamped out and freedom will rise to conquer."
-Belinda L McCormick

Sunday, May 17, 2009

& it's everything i need from you knowing you'll wait for me.

Monday I said goodbye to my very best friend. He's always been there for me, thick & thin. The great thing about our relationship is - no matter what, we always pick up right where we left off. It doesn't matter how long it's been since we talked last, it's the same everytime.

He meant more to me than most people realized, and has forever molded a place in my heart, and I won't ever be able to forget him - no matter what.

I'm gonna miss you calling me to talk when you're on your way somewhere. I'm gonna check my phone randomly in hopes that I have a message from you. I'm going to look for you on Friday nights at the football games, along the fence, furious with the boys playing. I'm going to want you to be here whenever I don't know what to do about something, and i'm going to try & think of what you WOULD tell me - if you were here. I'm going to need you during SEC football to explain the plays (without getting aggravated). I'm going to reminisce the drives through Starkville, and the meals we had together. I'm going to watch Saw 6, and write you to tell you every detail - because that's what you asked me to do. I want to hear your favorite songs (that I hate) with you, just one more time. So, in August, be prepared.
You have always meant so much to me, and I am afraid that I never told you. Although we can still keep in touch, hearing your voice & feeling your hugs is completely different. You've been my saving grace for so long, and you know more about me than a lot of people. I will FOREVER cherish you, and forever love you.

Mt best friend is a strong, selfless person. He (along with his brother, and one of his best friends) are serving our country. They are courageous men, and I give them all the respect in the world. Men are needed, THESE men are needed. They are some of the most amazing people I know, especially Clint.

"Well, i'm fixing to get rid of the phone, so i'm going to say my last goodbye now! I love you and i'm going to miss you!"
"I'm going to miss you too, and I love you Clint. Stay strong. I'll write you asap."
"Ok! Good, I will. I'm looking forward to it."
"I love you! Remember that!"

"You are not alone tonight, imagine me there by your side.
It's so hard to be here so far away from you.
I'm counting the days 'til i'm finally done, i'm counting them
down, yeah, one by one.
It feels like forever 'til i return to you, but it helps me on those
lonely nights, it's the one thing that keeps me alive knowing that
you wait for me."

I will miss you Clint, and you'll be on my mind, each and every day.

Quierre de tu, para siempre,

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

at the end of the road..

I can't tell you how many times I cried last year after the Seniors last day.

Walking down the hall, being in the cafeteria, football, baseball, softball, even the cheerleading squad loses a piece that it'll never have back. One less heart will step out on the line to represent their school. That breaks my heart every single time - and to think that next year, every step is one less makes me want to backspace all of this and not even write.


This is a time of the year that some people anticipate, and some people dread. I know that for me it will be a little of both. It will also consist of maybe being anxious, nervous, scared, excited, worried, etc.

This is a time that some see as “the end”, others view it as "the beginning". It is a time of transition & change. It is (to me) both the end and the beginning.It’s the end of: a unified friendship in the classroom, the familiar smell in the hallways that link back to your childhood the lunchroom “fights” & table gossip, a Friday night football game, cheerleading drama, softball chants, left field lounges, basketball, the celebrations. It’s the end of being able to ease by a tardy in the mornings when you decide you needs a few extra minutes of sleep (or maybe you just felt like making a loop), skipping class just to wander down the halls, and talking at your lockers WELL past time to be in class. It’s the end of turning being able to turn around & see your best friend sitting beside or behind you, of knowing that they’re right there to comfort you if that’s what you need, to laugh, to cry, to hug, or simply just to be there.

It’s also the beginning - the beginning of a lot of things: college, new faces that could quickly become best friends, and a new atmosphere. It’s the beginning of your life, of moving on, the beginning of the next step to getting married and having children. It is the beginning of everything you’ve wanted to do & haven’t been able to. It is the beginning of making all your dreams come true. (:



”Time, sometimes the time just slips away,
and your left with yesterday – left with the memories.
I’ll always think of you & smile,
and be happy for the time I had you with me.
Though we go our separate ways, I wont forget,
so don’t forget the memories we made.”

Congratulations, Class of 2oo9!

Monday, April 27, 2009

no negative responses, thank you.

What do these people mean?
Who do they think they are?

"You people have done very well, and I am appreciative." - Coach Beall

I strongly believe that he is one person I'll never stop respecting, because in the midst of this [ridiculous, absurd, irresponsible, blah, blah] drama - he is the one encouraging us. He is the one making sure that we, as students, have not fallen too far from what is SUPPOSED to be going on at school.

What our community has is not a lot. Many people have fought hard for what we DO have, and some of them would roll over in their graves if they knew what was going on now. I believe we should respect that, drop this, pick up, and move on.

Monday, April 13, 2009

crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life. <3

It has been said that a grandmother holds our hands for a little while but our hearts forever. My grandmother has strength among her that I wish I could have. She loves unconditionally, and her passion overflows. For seventeen years of my life she has shown me these things about herself: strength, love, and passion.
My Mimi has endured a lot in her life. Every time I look at her, I see a beautiful life, a life that has been full of happiness, love, and laughter. She has given those things back to everyone she has come across too. Only two months apart from each other, she lost two very important people in her life, her husband and her mother. Her husband was her soul mate, and they were married forty-seven years. She lost her best friend, and she had lost her greatest influence in life.
PawPaw and Mimi dated from their eighth grade year until they were married. He liked for her to be home when he arrived, and she always had supper ready for him. Together they had three beautiful children, one of whom I am proud to call my mother. The other two are a supportive aunt and uncle. She taught them how to work hard, and how to believe in everything they do with all their heart. PawPaw had an influence on that as well.
On June 23, 2006, PawPaw passed away. I know it was one of the hardest days of her life, but she has been strong. She has held her head high and stood tall. Although I know she missed him by her side, his laughter filling the room, and his ocean blue eyes staring back at her, she rarely lets on. Yes, the grief overcomes her every once in awhile, but I believe that she draws strength from knowing that she will be with him again one day, she will dance with him in Heaven, and she will never have to leave his side.
Mimi is passionate about everything from her grandchildren to football. She is especially passionate about Mississippi State sports. She is either attending the game, or she’s listening to it. She is also passionate about fishing. I can remember when I was younger that all our Saturday afternoons would be spend on a pond bank catching bass and brim.
My grandmother loves unconditionally, and she is loved endlessly. She is a person you can always depend on, because no matter what the situation is, she is always there. She wants nothing more than for everyone in her family to be happy. She has always been a very selfless person, making sure everyone was satisfied before herself. She has blessed me by being my best friend. She has forever been there fore me, whether it was to listen to one of my “Pee-Wee Cheers” or to hear me cry on the other end of the phone. She has never once complained about listening to me, and I am forever grateful for her.

I love you, Mimi.! Thank you for everything. You have influenced me in ways that I may never be able to tell you, and I draw strength from YOUR strength. You are wise beyond words, and your advice has helped me overcome many, many things. I love you with my whole heart, and I cannot begin to thank you enough.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Just remember this, i'm in a better place; where soldiers live in peace & angels sing "Amazing Grace"..


I don't know if you're reading this, or if you even know
but someone really misses you, someone here below.
The way things are now are different in a way that's hard to explain,
I cannot put my finger on it, it's almost like a mind game.
You're supposed to be here, your presence should fill this room.
Your smile, your laughter, and even your humor too.
I wish the one that misses you had just one more chance to say,
"Good morning, I love you, have a good day."
That chance can't come anymore, the journey for you has ended;
the journey of life that is.
As we try hard to accept that each & everyday
you're up above in Heaven hearing us pray,
we will think of you now, and for years to come,
for you are not only a memory,
you're a life that has only begun.
I know the one that misses you would love to see your face,
would love to laugh with you once more,
Or tell you that you're their saving grace.
That can't happen and that's fine, but if you're reading this, please know - we all wish we had more time.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

thinks to myself - - what a wonderful world. <3

Spring Break has been here, and I haven't even thought about my blog. I've been reading others, but not taking heed to the fact that mine was ..being neglected! So, here goes.

Dear you,
i'm confused, unsure, and this is not enjoyable for me.
Please do me a favor & UN-confuse me.

we had our play (may post pictures at a later date) - it went well, I guess. We all had a pretty good time, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. A lot of complaining went on about the practices & all the other things that come with doing a play, but I believe everyone was happy they had participated. Those are memories we'll always have together. After the play, we stayed at the camphouse in Shuqualak, that's always fun! It's good to get outta town, even if it's still CLOSE - - i'd rather not be TOO far from civilization.

NO SCHOOL! It was rainy & gross. We woke up at about 9:00 (yes, believe it or not, no school & still got up fairly early to've stayed up until almost 3) and Hollie and I went to Columbus. We spent most of the day there, ate at the new McAlisters, shopped around, and came back to town. I watched my episode of Greys that I had missed Thursday, and then Shea came to get me. We rode around for the remainder of the day. (Still very nasty outside)

What DID I do Saturday? -- OH! I got up and went to Mimi's, had lunch with her & Mamma. We just lazied around her house for most of the day. Mr. Glenn's birthday was Saturday, so Mrs. Sandra was cooking supper for him. Shea asked me to come & eat, and of course I was excited. I always enjoy the time I have to spend with his family, they've found a special place in my heart -- and we haven't even been dating for very long. I get attached easily, ha ha. We ate pork chops, creamed potatoes, peas, salad, and german chocolate cake. MMMM. Yes, it was great! I got to meet his SWEET grandmother, Mrs. Hardy. We spent some time with them, and left at around 8:30.

Church day. After church, Hollie & I ate lunch (as usual - -would hate to ruin a "tradition") - - at Parade.. That girl LOVES Parade. No need to ask her where she wants to go, on Sundays after church, my vehicle is set on auto-pilot all the way to the Parade parking lot! We enjoyed catching up for awhile, and then she went home, as did I. Shea came over around 3:00, and we watched "The Valley of Light". It is an AMAZING Hallmark movie about a fisherman & a little boy. I enjoyed it, I didn't know he had seen it until halfway through:
"Do you like it?" -me.
"Yeah! I've seen it." -him. kidding? Hmph. -- later, we rode around. Sunday afternoons are soo peaceful, calm, and worryless (if that's even a word). I love them!

I cleaned my drawers out, made room for everything, and cleaned my closet (well, the shoes) out too. I always feel better after cleaning, it's just getting up the motivation to actually DO IT that's so hard! Shea came over later, and we just hung around the house with Mamma & Daddy. We watched American Idol. I was VERY impressed by: Danny, Michael, Scott, and Kris Allen. Scott stole my heart from the beginning, as did Danny. Michael's voice (in my opinion) is what country music NEEDS. Kris Allen -- he's just a cutie with a voice; and see ya later, Alexis Grace, I never liked ya anyway!

I cannot remember Tuesday at all, during the day. I know that I cooked - - - BAKED, actually. Cooking (I guess) would be a "meal" , and baking (I GUESS) would be...desserts? Yeah, well anyway; I baked something like a blonde brownie (aka: blondies) They had: walnuts & white chocolate chips in them. You serve them warm with a maple syrup on top (but I just used caramel) - everyone in my family loved it. Here's what it looks like:

Everyone seemed to enjoy it. Shea told me he "could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and supper, so if this was all I learned to cook - - it would be OK! - - we may have to cut the door a little wider so I can fit in, but hey, whatever works!" (We'll talk about my cooking delima another time.) I know I drove my mother CRAZY in the kitchen, because she was trying to cook supper (and talk me through that) and I was baking -- trying to be conservative of bowls (because I know what it's like for someone to come in the kicthen and use ALL the bowls and expect ME to clean them!) Even though I was driving her bonkers, we enjoyed ourselves. I could get used to being in the kitchen with her.
I went to Hollie's house and helped her clean out her room around 10:45, I left at 12:15.

Mom wakes me up at 9:00 to clean out one of our garage areas. My grandma Jessie, who died when I was younger, had SO many dishes, SO many knick-knacks, SO much STUFF in her house & most of it ended up in boxes in the garage. Me & Daddy went through a lot of it, and helped Mamma straighten up. I went to Factory Connection (got a cute skirt!), ran some errands for Mamma, and then chilled for the rest of the day. Megan came over & we made a CD. Then, of course, we had to ride around and listen to it! Shea came over, but he couldn't stay too long!

Today, me & Mamma set off to shop for the day. We had a good day! When I say good, I mean I got: new purse, new shoes (4 pair), 6 skirts, and 4 shirts, and a scarf - - amd some pretty GREAT deals on ALL of it. We spent all day shopping, then we came home and I started baking. Tonight I baked a little thing that i'm going to call "Headache". Not because it was complicated, but because if you ate enough (shoot, you could probably LOOK at it for longer than 10 minutes) you would have a headache - - - from ALL the CHOCOLATE! This one requires: brownie mix, cookie dough mix, chocolate chips, & heavy cream. This is what it looked like:
The family enjoyed this ALSO. Shea said, "I could eat the entire pan." So, 2 things down..Now I just need to start cooking REAL meals.

I guess everyone's got to start somewhere.!

What's next on my "baking agenda"? Hmm.. Maybe..

Chocolate Chip Pie. Yum?

I hope you all have a LOVELY rest-of-Spring-Break!

Other great news, I got the JOY o f seeing Ashia's "little peanut" today, (a sonogram, of course) and it just put a SMILE ON MY FACE! I cannot wait for that sweet baby to be here. (:

If any of you are looking for a good movie to watch, here's my suggestion:

- truly an amazing movie. As a matter of fact, I think i'll go watch it now. Here's the story of the movie. I figured a website could tell it better than me.

As much as I obsessed, I almost forgot -- TWILIGHT IS COMING OUT TOMORROW AT 12:01!!!! So, yes, of course, as of now, Shea & I are planning to be there to get it, at 12:01. Oh the things he does to steal my heart. (:

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

& so, the lion fell in love with the lamb..

i promise there is a post coming...soon.

brief update..

i had every intention of writing a "good" post, until my nyquil set in. This stuff can seriously knock me off my feet! I was raring to go 20 minutes ago, and now i can barely sit up!
why nyquil? ..i've caught the: "croop", "crud", YUCK!

this weekend, nothing went on. We (Shea & I) stayed home due to the pink eye. He didn't have it, I did. Can you believe he didn't catch it after being around me while I had it for 3 days? He was a trooper through the whole deal. I figured i'd scare him with no makeup, but he never said anything except for, "you still look pretty.." that could've been a fib :) He'd let me fall asleep on his shoulder & never once wake me up by tickling me, which is what he usually finds QUITE hilarious. He was just the most precious thing, all weekend long. I am so thankful to have him in my life.

Next, this is Kendall's blog that she's started to keep everyone up-to-date about Caroline. I'm sure everyone reading my blog knows about the situation that Mr. Vance & Corrin are in with their precious daughter, but this will keep you up to date with the latest news. Please keep them in your prayers!

Exams are finishing up for the Junior class tomorrow! Yippah! I'm very excited about Spring Break!

"Before his second year of college, I was barely seventeen.
He was haulin' hay, an' I brought him a glass of tea.
To a farm boy from Mississippi, you were small town girl,
An' every young man's dream in cut-off jeans, with that Homecoming Queen smile.
I were makin' fun of his farmer's tan an' he was lettin' me.
An' fightin' bull in the July heat, tryin' to keep his cool.
An' the prairie wind sang while the dust devils danced.
It just got hotter as the summer passed.
An' that first kiss stole our breath away.
An' the breeze died down as our hearts surrendered.
The moonlight shattered as it crashed on the river.
We both knew we'd never be the same:'

Cause love changes everything."

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

but what he gave her came from the heart, a bond that could never be torn apart..

A blog needs to be written, i just don't have it in me.

Exams are next week, the play is next week, and after next thursday..freedom will be given to us. Freaking yay for Spring Break.

I'll let this post be an update, sorry for not feeling philosophical - - again, i know.

Marlee, baby - is feeling a little better. She's still on antibiotics (suffering from a kidney infection, nothing major..thankfully) She has been in better spirits for the last 2 or 3 days, but right now she's mad at Ruger. Ruger has a barking issue, you see. So, daddy bought a "trance-thing" (i'm not sure of the proper name for it) to see if this would cease it. It is in the form of a bird house (weird, huh?) and you just aim it towards the problem, and everytime it picks up a bark, it sends out a high-pitched noise that only dogs can hear. Daddy put it in, and when i went to feed him, he was in the corner of the pen. Daddy even said that our neighbors dog had shut up! ..Marlee is mad because she has to listen to the noise, and it's because of her crazy, barking cousin.

Frankie, darlin - is such a happy fishy! Many of you have been asking about him & he's grand! I changed his water saturday, and I put him in the new water, and he took a nap. I woke up this morning to find that (i believe) he's making a bubble nest. They look similar to this:

cool, huh? If it continues to build, i'll take a picture of his & post it sometime. I'm thinking that Frankie needs a Francis, SOON. I just don't have time to go get her. It's either softball or play practice. I want Francis to look like this:
white's pretty, don't you think?

"i haven't seen you hardly all week. I'm gonna tickle you til you scream."
- - ohh boy.

this song has been STUCK in my head all week, i don't know why.

Natalie Wood gave her heart to James Dean
The high school rebel and the teenage queen
Standin together in an angry world
One boy fightin for one girl
I wanna be loved like that,
I wanna be loved like that
A promise you can't take back
If you're gonna love me
I wanna be loved like that
Daddy never gave Momma a diamond ring
But Momma never wanted for anything
But what he gave her it came from the heart
In a bond that was never torn apart
An old man kneeling all alone
Plants his flowers in a garden of stone
For seven years now she's been gone
And his devotion is still goin strong.
I wanna be loved like that,
A promise you can't take back.
If you're gonna love me,
I wanna be loved like that.

& now that i've bored you to tears, goodnight.. pray for a more productive & intellectual post next time (:


CONGRATULATIONS, Ashia & Ben! I have been wanting to post this, now i can! I'm soo soo happy for you! I know both of you will be fun, loving, great parents. I'm looking forward to meeting your little one! (: I love ya'll both.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

let's see what life has to hold, down the road.

well, this has been brewing in my mind. Hopefully my mother won't kill me for it (:

i was reading throught the 1975 Viking annual last night when I began thinking more of my parents, rather than my life. It's so amazing to think (and this is where they may wanna shoot me) one point, they were my age too. I know it's hard for me to believe ONLY because I wasn't there to witness them at that age. They suffered the same issues that I face now. The wisdom is there, as to what I should do next, but I believe they hold back sometimes in hopes that maybe the mistake I make will be one that makes me stronger. one signature said something about being home "on time", hmm..i've never missed a curfew! these are people that spent their time with my parents, they laughed, they made memories, some of them loved each other, some of them hated the other. Some of them ended up marrying each other & some moved away, and haven't been seen since graduation - - it's so surreal for me; To believe that my parents rode up & down the same roads that we do, sometimes talking about the same things we do now, basically, they grew up the same way we did.
We don't give them enough credit for the things they do for us, to protect us. We should realize that they have been there before we ever thought about being there, we should listen as they advise us on what to do, but no - some of us are too stubborn.
I cannot imagine my parents when they "dated" (courted, whatever they called it). That (in my world) never exsisted. You know, I've heard stories of that time in their life, but I just can't wrap my mind around it.
Men were completely different then, compared to now. Most ALL men then held the door, opened the door, walked you to your door, called you (now..we text! - for the most part), sent flowers for no apparent reason other than to let you know they were thinking about you, etc, etc. Nowadays, yes, there are still men around like that (and I would say BE THANKFUL if you have one that does all those things for you, because they're hard to find) but back then, it was second nature. It was the way it was supposed to be. We've strayed so far away from mannerism's in today's world that it's sad.
Anyway, onward to my observation.. I can't see my daddy leaving the table during an UNO game with Mamma & PawPaw because he was about to win, and didn't want to make PawPaw mad before he asked for my mothers hand in marriage. & I can only hear about him and Mamma washing the car when he popped the question.
It's not that I don't want to see it, or even that I'm trying to block it from my memory. Believe me, i'd love to have been a fly on the wall in that situation. I'd love to go back & spend a day in that era. The clothes, the vehicles, the past times, the school, the people, everything about it seems so much fun - compared to now. I'm sure i'll look back in 20 years and say the same thing about this time period, though, too. I guess what this whole post is about would be that - - it's just hard to imagine life for my parents without children.

They are so good to us, and we take it for granted each & everyday.

"And I go back to watchin summer fade to fall
Growin up too fast and I do recall
Wishin time would stop right in its tracks

Monday, February 23, 2009

i'm tangled up in you.

So, lately my blogs have been about what is perfect or imperfect in my life. I should start off by letting you know that in somewhat of a way, I have strayed from leaving the simple things out of my blog. I shouldn't. Those are the things that matter. Right? I'm not feeling very philosophical, so i'll share with you, my new addition. (:

Saturday night my little small dream came true! My first (of hopefully many) betta fishes (yes, they are called fishES not fish') was purchased.

Shea & I went to walmart at almost 9:30 to get it, and I was as happy as a kid who'd just told Santa what they wanted for Christmas. Shea said, "She has smoke comin off of her shoes while she was walking to the fish." - ha!

So, we walked to them, and as I looked, Shea picked one up. It was beautiful. A red one, but when the light hit it just right, it would turn blue. It had long, flowing fins, but to me he looked old. I've gotten to where I can tell, sort of. I've done so much research on these fish, ask anyone. I am really excited about this, and I hope to breed them sometime.
Anyway, he picked the fish up, and i told him that was a great one! I told him to let me check the other shelf, just to make sure. So, i walked to the other side of the aisle, and I spotted him. A yellow betta male, with a black face. He was darting around his "bowl", ful of energy & life.
You're thinking i'm crazy, huh? I am seriously to the point of obsession. I spent all of last week Googling these fish, to make sure that when I got one, it would have the proper care.
Now, i have one of my own to give a happy life to. So far, he seems pleased.

Frankie Earl

I got Marlee out Saturday, while I cleaned my truck out & Daddy tempored some knife blades. She was just as happy as a kid in the candy shop! She was struttin around like she owned the place. She's doing SO well with her retrieving (Thanks to Daddy!) and she loves attention.
I thought about putting her "Life is Good" collar on, but we're gonna save that for her first REAL dove hunt, or something else special like that!
After she'd been out for about an hour, I decided to take her riding. That's one other thing she tends to enjoy a whole lot. So, we rode out through the country before the rain set in. Once we got back, she was glad to hear "Kennel up!" I think she'd had enough for the day!

Mallard Marlee Made

So, there you have it, fellow bloggers. My little family!

Be sure to check out (& comment) Mrs. Kristie Boykin's blog about her journey with Cody & his Army experience. It's an amazing blog that will reach out & grab your heart.
Click to view it. ->

Monday, February 16, 2009

it's an unshakeable, unchangeable, love.

the best way to put this will be the long way of putting it, and hopefully my eyes can hold out throughout this blog that has been aimlessly floating around in my head for the last few days, but it wasn't until today that it all fell into place.

We were driving by that spot today, that i've mentioned here serveral times before, and a sudden wave of sadness fell over me. - - the dirt pile. It was no longer a dirt pile, to be honest with you, it was in the midst of becoming a driveway. That put a damper on my day.
As i waited for him to get ready to leave to ride through that beautiful land, I sat in the truck, overlooking the place that held so many of our memories together. I watched that piece of equipment smooth out that once piled dirt, and I wanted so bad to rewind back to that time. Not many things replay in my mind over and over, but if i'm writing about it, it means alot to me, and if I think of it excessively, it also holds a place somewhere inside of me.

We did everything we had to do, and around sunset we were making our drive back home. We passed it, yet again, and he noticed my face falling.
"That just really makes me see it go."
"I know, but you can always remember it." That's all he said, and he said it so calmly.

I was freaking out over a dirt pile, that was only a paragraph in my book, being gone. I can only imagine what his thoughts were. I know the same memory is instilled into his brain, but I was making a big deal over basically nothing. Now, I am rambling, and you're wondering if i'll ever make my point.

It's just that.. It really doesn't matter, does it? If that place is different?
- It's still there. The location hasn't changed. It happened there, not anywhere else. So, it's unchangeable.
- It's always going to be in my mind the same way, fast-forward or reverse, it happened THE WAY IT HAPPENED, and that's unshakeable.

I know now that the kind love that I have in my heart is one that I never want to let go of. It's the kind of love I want to meet me at the door after a long day. The kind that brings a smile to my face when the rest of the world around me can only frown. The kind that I will miss, even if it's only outside of the house, at the truck or in the shop. The kind that will stand tall beside me, and be there to hold my hand when I'm weak & without words. The kind that will not leave me whenever I am upset, hurting, or just having a red-headed fit. The kind that laughs with me whenever no one else in the room understands -- except for him. The kind that has the ability to be anywhere in the world, for however long, but they'd rather be right next to me. The kind of love that never fails - through rain, or shine. The kind that sits on the front porch with you, in a silence that is never awkward, just watching the cars go by. The kind that is unselfish; when, for once, the relationship isn't just about what makes you happy, it's about the other persons feelings above your own. The kind that will not hardly allow a bad mood, because for some reason, everytime you're around them - you can't help but smile. The kind that you don't ever have to question. It's set in stone. The kind that makes you want to strive to do better, just for them. The kind that allows second chances. The kind that will be "the wooden rocking chair I want rocking right beside me". The kind that can always find the good out of a situation. The kind that dances in the kitchen to their favorite love song. The kind that still wants you in the middle seat, even when you've been beside each other all day. The kind that makes you feel content lying on the couch, curled up watching a movie. The kind that makes you feel flawless and beautiful. The kind that no one else understands. The kind that reveals to you everyday just how alike you really are, incase we are to forget. The kind you fall asleep dreaming about & wake up thinking about. The kind that causes your thinking to be off-track. The kind that almost scares you, because you know how quickly it can be taken away. I want it to be the kind that you can only rarely see in the eyes of the older ones among us, but when you do, it's without a doubt, needless to say, unconditional love.

"you had me distracted."
"thinking about that pretty face."

"promise me one thing?"
"what's that?"
"that you won't go anywhere.."
"i promise - - i swear."

I can listen to a love story all day, the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that end with "and that's how we got where we are today..." - to see those two people, and the vibe that is carried between them is almost as amazing as being able to actually feel that vibe for yourself.
You should be thankful for the person that you love, the person you've given your name to, or the person that's given their name to you. It's a beautiful thing, that love. It's rare, and if you find it, keep it. It's worth the fight.

"Happy Valentines Day, I love you. - Love, Shea"

Sunday, February 8, 2009

wild roses on the riverbank, it's almost like you're there.

"What I really want to say was how this animal has touched our souls and taught us some of the most important lessons in our lives."

I don't know how old i was, but I couldn't have been over 5.

"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole."

Mamma & Daddy told me to get in the car, we were going to get a puppy. I was overjoyed. I couldn't WAIT to have a puppy at my house to play with! So, we headed down the street in the Cadialac. We got the puppy, and headed back home. I can vaguely remember this, but I have seen it in pictures, I would lay in the floor with that precious puppy, and she would sleep in the clothes basket. We'd take her outside, and bring her in. She was part of the family. She knew she was too. Smart as a whip, she was.

"If you want a friend for life, get a dog."

My daddy's told me before that a man usually has one really great dog that they own in their lifetime. He told me it was Sarge (a dog that was basically his child, too). This one, though, was a brilliant dog. She had a wonderful personality. She was laid back & she was sweet to everyone. She could fetch a dove, and she was good at it. I always enjoyed her being with us on those morning dove hunts, and she always loved going. She respected my daddy almost as much as I do (I would say, no kidding!) She was outstanding.

"Yes, it was only a dog, and dogs come and go in the course of human life, sometimes simply because they became an inconvenience. It was a dog, and yet every time I tried to talk about him to them, tears welled in my eyes."

Saturday afternoon, we had been in Columbus all morning, and we came home.
"Your daddy's here." -Mamma
"oh, okay." -me.
Not really unusual, I was thinking, but then again, he usually finds a project on Saturdays.
"It looks like someone's been driving in the yard." -Mamma
[then there was a pause, before she said..]
"Oh, Julianna, I wonder if Suzie died."
So, I walked down to her pen, and Ruger was there. Marlee was beside him in the next pen, but there was no sign of Suzie's life in that pen anymore. Only flattened hay, where her frail body would sleep at night.
I looked up at Mamma & shook my head.

"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring -- it was peace."

"I'm so sorry about Suzie." -Mamma said to Daddy when we walked in.
"What'd Ruger do?" -she said.
"He wanted to go with me to take her to be buried." -Daddy.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

My daddy has also told me before that you make an impact on a dog. Everytime you talk to them, love them, play with them, it MEANS something to them. My belief (and yes, be glad to call me brainwashed) ..well, i believe they remember that. Why else would they be so excited as to see you? Why would their face light up the moment you speak to them? Call me crazy, but my dog knows who you are, and she knows her past with you (:

"Dogs are a man's best friend."

She will be missed, but aren't they all? It was her time, and she's better off.

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

you can't keep me low..

What TV character can you relate to the most?

Oh boy. There are several. Which ones should I use? --we'll say Merideth Grey & Peyton Sawyer.

Merideth. She worries. She fears for her future & settlin down, she wants the best for people, and her thoughts are in depth. She is strong willed & determined. She's a fighter, especially when it comes to what she believes. She is an emotional person, but she barely shows it, she's the kind of person who never cries, and when she does, it's so rare that it tends to make other people cry. Her views on life are close to mine in a lot of ways, believe it or not.

Peyton. Can't help who she's in love with, she can see through someones imperfections, and love a person for who they really are. She expresses herself through her art & expects a lot out of herself. She listens, especially to a friend when they're in need. Music keeps her sane & she hates dresses. She's dealt with a lot in life, and it's made her who she's become. She also cries, only rarely, just as Merideth, and it tends to make other people emotional. She bottles up a lot of her feelings, then aain, she speaks her mind.

I don't know who you'd say I'd relate to more, and those are just my opinion. (: