the best way to put this will be the long way of putting it, and hopefully my eyes can hold out throughout this blog that has been aimlessly floating around in my head for the last few days, but it wasn't until today that it all fell into place.
We were driving by that spot today, that i've mentioned here serveral times before, and a sudden wave of sadness fell over me. - - the dirt pile. It was no longer a dirt pile, to be honest with you, it was in the midst of becoming a driveway. That put a damper on my day.
As i waited for him to get ready to leave to ride through that beautiful land, I sat in the truck, overlooking the place that held so many of our memories together. I watched that piece of equipment smooth out that once piled dirt, and I wanted so bad to rewind back to that time. Not many things replay in my mind over and over, but if i'm writing about it, it means alot to me, and if I think of it excessively, it also holds a place somewhere inside of me.
We did everything we had to do, and around sunset we were making our drive back home. We passed it, yet again, and he noticed my face falling.
"That just really makes me sad...to see it go."
"I know, but you can always remember it." That's all he said, and he said it so calmly.
I was freaking out over a dirt pile, that was only a paragraph in my book, being gone. I can only imagine what his thoughts were. I know the same memory is instilled into his brain, but I was making a big deal over basically nothing. Now, I am rambling, and you're wondering if i'll ever make my point.
It's just that.. It really doesn't matter, does it? If that place is different?
- It's still there. The location hasn't changed. It happened there, not anywhere else. So, it's unchangeable.
- It's always going to be in my mind the same way, fast-forward or reverse, it happened THE WAY IT HAPPENED, and that's unshakeable.
I know now that the kind love that I have in my heart is one that I never want to let go of. It's the kind of love I want to meet me at the door after a long day. The kind that brings a smile to my face when the rest of the world around me can only frown. The kind that I will miss, even if it's only outside of the house, at the truck or in the shop. The kind that will stand tall beside me, and be there to hold my hand when I'm weak & without words. The kind that will not leave me whenever I am upset, hurting, or just having a red-headed fit. The kind that laughs with me whenever no one else in the room understands -- except for him. The kind that has the ability to be anywhere in the world, for however long, but they'd rather be right next to me. The kind of love that never fails - through rain, or shine. The kind that sits on the front porch with you, in a silence that is never awkward, just watching the cars go by. The kind that is unselfish; when, for once, the relationship isn't just about what makes you happy, it's about the other persons feelings above your own. The kind that will not hardly allow a bad mood, because for some reason, everytime you're around them - you can't help but smile. The kind that you don't ever have to question. It's set in stone. The kind that makes you want to strive to do better, just for them. The kind that allows second chances. The kind that will be "the wooden rocking chair I want rocking right beside me". The kind that can always find the good out of a situation. The kind that dances in the kitchen to their favorite love song. The kind that still wants you in the middle seat, even when you've been beside each other all day. The kind that makes you feel content lying on the couch, curled up watching a movie. The kind that makes you feel flawless and beautiful. The kind that no one else understands. The kind that reveals to you everyday just how alike you really are, incase we are to forget. The kind you fall asleep dreaming about & wake up thinking about. The kind that causes your thinking to be off-track. The kind that almost scares you, because you know how quickly it can be taken away. I want it to be the kind that you can only rarely see in the eyes of the older ones among us, but when you do, it's without a doubt, needless to say, unconditional love.
"you had me distracted."
"why?"
"thinking about that pretty face."
"promise me one thing?"
"what's that?"
"that you won't go anywhere.."
"i promise - - i swear."
I can listen to a love story all day, the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that end with "and that's how we got where we are today..." - to see those two people, and the vibe that is carried between them is almost as amazing as being able to actually feel that vibe for yourself.
You should be thankful for the person that you love, the person you've given your name to, or the person that's given their name to you. It's a beautiful thing, that love. It's rare, and if you find it, keep it. It's worth the fight.
We were driving by that spot today, that i've mentioned here serveral times before, and a sudden wave of sadness fell over me. - - the dirt pile. It was no longer a dirt pile, to be honest with you, it was in the midst of becoming a driveway. That put a damper on my day.
As i waited for him to get ready to leave to ride through that beautiful land, I sat in the truck, overlooking the place that held so many of our memories together. I watched that piece of equipment smooth out that once piled dirt, and I wanted so bad to rewind back to that time. Not many things replay in my mind over and over, but if i'm writing about it, it means alot to me, and if I think of it excessively, it also holds a place somewhere inside of me.
We did everything we had to do, and around sunset we were making our drive back home. We passed it, yet again, and he noticed my face falling.
"That just really makes me sad...to see it go."
"I know, but you can always remember it." That's all he said, and he said it so calmly.
I was freaking out over a dirt pile, that was only a paragraph in my book, being gone. I can only imagine what his thoughts were. I know the same memory is instilled into his brain, but I was making a big deal over basically nothing. Now, I am rambling, and you're wondering if i'll ever make my point.
It's just that.. It really doesn't matter, does it? If that place is different?
- It's still there. The location hasn't changed. It happened there, not anywhere else. So, it's unchangeable.
- It's always going to be in my mind the same way, fast-forward or reverse, it happened THE WAY IT HAPPENED, and that's unshakeable.
I know now that the kind love that I have in my heart is one that I never want to let go of. It's the kind of love I want to meet me at the door after a long day. The kind that brings a smile to my face when the rest of the world around me can only frown. The kind that I will miss, even if it's only outside of the house, at the truck or in the shop. The kind that will stand tall beside me, and be there to hold my hand when I'm weak & without words. The kind that will not leave me whenever I am upset, hurting, or just having a red-headed fit. The kind that laughs with me whenever no one else in the room understands -- except for him. The kind that has the ability to be anywhere in the world, for however long, but they'd rather be right next to me. The kind of love that never fails - through rain, or shine. The kind that sits on the front porch with you, in a silence that is never awkward, just watching the cars go by. The kind that is unselfish; when, for once, the relationship isn't just about what makes you happy, it's about the other persons feelings above your own. The kind that will not hardly allow a bad mood, because for some reason, everytime you're around them - you can't help but smile. The kind that you don't ever have to question. It's set in stone. The kind that makes you want to strive to do better, just for them. The kind that allows second chances. The kind that will be "the wooden rocking chair I want rocking right beside me". The kind that can always find the good out of a situation. The kind that dances in the kitchen to their favorite love song. The kind that still wants you in the middle seat, even when you've been beside each other all day. The kind that makes you feel content lying on the couch, curled up watching a movie. The kind that makes you feel flawless and beautiful. The kind that no one else understands. The kind that reveals to you everyday just how alike you really are, incase we are to forget. The kind you fall asleep dreaming about & wake up thinking about. The kind that causes your thinking to be off-track. The kind that almost scares you, because you know how quickly it can be taken away. I want it to be the kind that you can only rarely see in the eyes of the older ones among us, but when you do, it's without a doubt, needless to say, unconditional love.
"you had me distracted."
"why?"
"thinking about that pretty face."
"promise me one thing?"
"what's that?"
"that you won't go anywhere.."
"i promise - - i swear."
I can listen to a love story all day, the ones that mean the most to me are the ones that end with "and that's how we got where we are today..." - to see those two people, and the vibe that is carried between them is almost as amazing as being able to actually feel that vibe for yourself.
You should be thankful for the person that you love, the person you've given your name to, or the person that's given their name to you. It's a beautiful thing, that love. It's rare, and if you find it, keep it. It's worth the fight.
"Happy Valentines Day, I love you. - Love, Shea"
1 comment:
wow, you were right! that gerber daisy is SOOOOOOO pretty!!!!!!!! good job, shea. =)
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