i want this to be long. i want the time to write it, because YOU need to know.
You need to know that for years you have broken her down and hurt her. You have abused your right to even look at her. You have come in, taken advantage, and run away. You're gone now, in a sense, so there's no way anyone (but yourself) can do anything to bring you back, but everyone sees it. Everyone knows the way it is, and has been for quite some time. You need to know that she cries, she worries, she fears, - - all for you. For YOU. & you don't give one care in the world for the time that is spent on you. You are unappreciative, naive, immature, selfish, and ignorant of the people around you. You're turning into it. It being - -the beast that no one wanted to see come out of you. This isn't the way it used to be, so why can't you come back? Are you too far gone? Have you fallen too far from the path? No, you haven't. You haven't and i know it because if you had, you wouldn't feel a thing when the subject comes up, but you do. You cry. You block out any image, thought, or action that might spring it to mind, and that's how i know that this isn't over. The question is, how far does it have to go? Some believe you're too far gone NOW. But..are you? People talk, people listen, people know, people don't know. I know. I've always known, but you don't think i know. You think i'm unaware of what IS going on, but really, i know more than you wish i did. You wouldn't listen if i tried talking to you, so i don't. This is your mistake to make, and i'm gonna be here to back up your fall, sure. I will not be here to correct your mistake, because with everyday you wake up & don't do anything about it, that's one more day added to the reason why this is your fault, and your fault alone. I love you, i do. I always will. I don't love your actions & selfish behavior. Make it stop, before it's too late.
It's okay to me, i've dealt with it for quite sometime, and i can get these things to go away & not bother me, sure, i wish things were better for us, but it's okay. It isn't me i'm worried about. It's them. The others. They shouldn't have to feel this way, they shouldn't have to be burdened, when you're not feeling a thing. You have a heart, somewhere in that chest of yours, and it's a big one, i know. I know because i've seen the actions of it before, unlike any other persons i've ever met. Your heart is as big as an elephants, but what you give your soul & love too, are (somewhat) the wrong things. It's a shame that love can be given away so easily to people who can hurt us so much, and time after time, we find ourselves back in their eyes, arms, and trap. You deserve better. You know it, too. There is better, you just haven't given yourself a chance to find it - - because you won't look.
What hasn't she done? I can't think of anything either. What has she asked for in return? I can't think of anything to answer that either, except for maybe a small portion of your time. Is that too much to ask? You are loved by many people, and it takes alot to lose someone's love, and i'm not going to sit here and type out that they're going to fall out of love with you, because i know better. They'll always love you, no matter what. You could do nothing in this world to change that. You could even ask them to stop loving you, and i don't think the command would affect them in any way, shape form, or fashion. Just straighten up, because you're jumping off the deep end - without a life jacket, and you can't swim.
twilight - - an addiction in the making.
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