Tuesday, February 2, 2010

it's the simple things in life.


Over at Kelly's Korner, she posted a blog about "simple pleasures". It got me to thinking about the many things that I enjoy, but I don't always take the time to soak it in. This may be long, but i'm excited about this post. :)

painting for no reason, to simply relieve stress.

hunting on a not-too-cold-not-too-hot day

riding an old dirt road on a summer afternoon while the sun's setting, with the windows down.

listening to a guitar strum at night on a front porch.

the beginning of anything.

meaningful text messages/phone calls.

iPod "shuffle".

waking up on a Thursday that FEELS like a Monday.

sleeping.

sunday afternoons; for some reason, they're different than other afternoons.

fishing in the dead of summer, when the mosquitos and crickets swarm.

softball tan lines.

a thunderstorm when i'm going to sleep.

taking/having pictures everywhere.

seeing people who are TRULY in love.

watching Grey's Anatomy with my mamma.

having long chats with my mimi about life.

being out at/on the lake with friends.


I really could go on, and on, and on. I won't, for the sake that you might get bored, but I will post these lyrics.

Tonight the sunset means so much
The one thing that you know you'll never touch
Like the feeling, the real thing
I reach out for that sweet dream

But somehow the darkness wakes me up
I've felt this emptiness before
But all the times that I've been broken
I still run right back for more

You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now
You'd think that I'd somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You're bound to feel the flame

You think that I'd learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing

Sometimes I think I'm better off
To turn out the lights and close up shop
And give up the longing, believing in belonging
Just hold down my head and take the loss

You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now
You'd think that I'd somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You're bound to feel the flame

You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing


There are three more months until i'm part of CA Alumni. If you ask me RIGHT NOW, i'd tell you that I canNOT wait. I am sick & tired of school, the frustration of it all has really had me down because I try and still don't understand half the time. We won't go any further into that, though.

I will say that summer has been on my mind. The nights that were so long that they turned into morning, the rush that I had when everything started out again. To this day I haven't regretted my decision, nor have I wanted to go back. There have been moments when I've asked myself "why" but I always answer that for myself and say "because i would have always wondered 'why' if I hadn't." That was just one of many reasons though. You know you've always held a place in my heart, a place that only you can fill. A place that no one else even comes near to, and no one understands that, but I don't ask them too.
As we drove down the road, I hesitated calling you. I didn't know what to say, but I wanted to hear your voice. I felt like a giddy child making a prank call (the kind where the person on the opposite ends answers & the child hangs up), but once you answered, my heart melted as my hands shook & it all fell into place. My heart started that racey, fluttery, jumpy stuff all over again, and time stood still. It was you and me, and interceeding phone line, and miles of memories racing down a forgotten highway as we talked about time we had missed. Who was I to deny it? You knew me better than I knew myself, and I've always kept that in mind. It wasn't fair for me to compare the two of you, but then again, you've got a few more years on you than he does.
As we talked, we plotted, and we planned. I wanted to see you to actually make sure this was all real. To hear, to see, to look at, to watch the words come out of your mouth instead of via text. I wanted to have a verbal committment from you to be sure that you were serious. I wanted it all to play out the way that it had in my head as I daydreamed about it. I wanted the whole thing all over again.
The night fell, but my hopes rose like a full moon over a lake, reflecting back over everything we've been through that has lead up to this point. You, me, life, distance, time, place, people, etc that has gotten in the way. Those are just the nouns of it all, I could list forever. So many things went wrong, so many things drafted in another direction, and the current was too strong, but I was ready to face the wind. You were too; I could tell when the street light hit your eyes that you had come with intentions.
Nothing elaborate happened that night. You didn't write a poem for me, or sing the next number one hit love song. You were just there beside me, laughing, joking, talking. There was nothing romantic about the setting, unless you consider a warm concrete ground, flies, the dogs barking angrily, cars passing through the one horse town, and a dim orange streetlight glow things of a "romantic nature".
Truth be told, it was us that made it romantic. It was the story that lies within our hearts. It was the way that we knew exactly what the other was thinking just by a glance.It was the strings that have been attached over all this time without fully letting go. It was the thrill of the hopes that laid in our future about the way that it would all work out because let's be honest, we had set our hopes high.

1 comment:

Ashia said...

sooooooo glad you posted this! =) i was thinking the other day that i been missing your writing.