It always seems to fly by, from the moment I'm with you until the time I leave - time never seems to last long enough. We could spend days on end together, but each moment is instilled in my memory as if we had only been together for a few seconds. Your smile holds a place in my mind that I can recall so vividly whenever I want, and your laugh echoes through my ears as I replay the times we've spent together. You're no ordinary person to me, but to everyone else you're a typical being. You far surpass any individual I've ever met, but through another's eyes you couldn't be more "normal".
I can remember the night I realized that this beautiful mess was entirely more than I had ever bargained for. The lightening bugs lit up the summer sky like lanterns flowing in the July breeze. The stars shone as bright as candles swaying through the blackest of night. There were no love songs serenading in the background, but the crickets hushed the silence as they sang away like they do in the South. Resisting the "want" to be in your presence was becoming harder & harder for me, and you knew it. I wanted to be around you. I wanted to hear your voice. I wanted to see what you had to say. As bad as it sounds, I had given up trying so hard to pretend like I didn't care about you. It was evident.
You are the one & only person who has me figured out beyond questions. Sometimes it is unbelievable how transparent I seem to be around you because whether or not you'd ever say it - you know me like the hairs on the back of your hand. You can look at me & tell something's wrong, and if you're listening to my voice - you can decipher my mood just by listening to my tone. This trait hasn't ever bothered me about you. I like doing the most random things that can be thought of, and I like for them to be unplanned. I like that you know that about me, and you usually surprise me by what you can come up with.
Long were the days when you'd pick me up and take me down roads i'd never traveled before. Your sense of direction is, and always will be, better than mine. Conversation never ran dry, and when it subsided for a minute - the music on the radio got louder as we sang the night away. I couldn't imagine life any other way. I liked the feeling of my voice harmonizing with yours. I've always been thrilled to hear you sing. I was right where I wanted to be. Everything in my life at that moment was content. I was happy.
It's funny how life changes in only a few years, and looking back it's easy to see that some things will never be relived with the same feelings that were once felt, but have you ever been somewhere that brought back a feeling you once had? So many places do that to me, and they reach down to the pit of my stomach and raise the uttermost emotions that I keep locked inside. Have you ever smelled honeysuckle, and it took you back to a late summer night with a full moon shining above you casting shadows on your face? It causes me to go back to the very moment when love has been felt the most in my life. Has a song ever been the cue for a slideshow in your memory? There have been the most beautiful images of being alive and living life to the absolute fullest in those memory recaps. I try so hard to find those feelings again in the places where our footsteps stand firm, but it is a lifeless effort unless you are there. It is a hopeless curse on me.
I often forget the simple things; the way the guitar sounds on the side of town as the sun sets behind old buildings, or the view of bait meeting the water and causing an uproar of ripples as we fished on a hot afternoon. It's not that I want to forget at all, really. I just get so caught up in the things I don't want to forget that the "little things" seem to slip my mind, and to me - in the end - they are the most important. The little things in life are the things that matter the most to me, just like the little spark that turned into a flame with you.
It's unforgettable. Through the day, you're either in the back of my mind, or you're the only thing on my mind. There's no denying it, and I can't tell you that I'm sorry for that. I won't.
I can twist any song on the radio to remind me of something that relates to you. Any song from Lady GaGa to The Band can retell a story of the journey i've found myself on with you. It's been the journey of a lifetime. Take pride in the fact of knowing that you've been the main character in a chapter of my life. Whether or not I have to close the book to a new chapter is beyond me, but I'm enjoying adding to the story for now.
I just wanted you to know that you haven't died to me, and from as far as I can tell you won't any time soon. I do wish things were different every now and then, but at the same time - life couldn't be more perfect than it is. It is the most unperfected form of perfect, though. The understanding we have between the two of us is one that can't be explained by anyone aside from the two of us. There's no way to describe it, and you've taught me that it's okay to not have everything defined in life. Thank you for that.
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