do we dare to cross that line between your heart & mine, would i lose a friend or find love that would never end..

favorite txt of the day: " "...i thought about you :-) I love YOU!!!!"
i'll miss those, i really will.

Today was a do-nothing day, and i enjoyed it, until i looked at my clock and it read 6:34 and i realized i had seriously DONE NOTHING all day.
I'm one step closer to seeing Saw 5. & i'm excited about that.

One thing i find myself doing on do-nothing days is thinking, alot. I have had alot on my mind. Things i can figure out myself, and things i'm scared only God knows the answers to. I really hate this situation, it's one i've never had to deal with before, and i'm torn apart. Not only do i NOT know what to do, sometimes i don't even know what to say.

To have someone walk into my life so unexpected,
to be the best friend i could've ever asked for,
to be there for me when no one else is,
to cheer me up when i don't even want to giggle,
to talk to me when i'm in the foulest of moods,
to hug me until all my tears have dried away,
to kiss my forehead when saying goodbye,
to hold my hand when they know something's on my mind,
to listen when the world is screaming at us,
to talk when i've run out of words,
to be there when it seems everyone else has fallen short,
& then have them leave just as unexpected as they came in, sucks.
I didn't ask for the friendship, i didn't ask for the bond, i didn't ask for the memories, and i didn't ask for the love that's filled my heart for them in one simple year. But i got it, all of it. And i'm a better person, i believe, because of it.

When i say it sucks, it doesn't literally. This is life, this is now, and this is the way it's going to be, and i'm willing to accept that, it's just that i know i'll feel as if the relationship is too far gone after awhile of being apart, and ...i wasn't looking to have my heart broken over a friendship i thought would be around forever.

Now you're thinking that i always see the negatives, but if you know me well enough, you'll know that i'm preparing for the worst. Because if i do that, things can only turn out for the better. Right? Right.

& even after crying myself to sleep,
calling your name back to my house when you've left once already,
spending 3 straight hours with your hand in mine, talking of everything,
it still isn't over.
it's only begun.

I know God has a plan. I'm so excited to see how it turns out, because i want nothing more than for a smile to be on their face, a laugh to be in their heart, and a joy to be in their presence when they know they've done all they can, and they've gone the extra mile.